We’ve been asked how we ended up being so lucky to have found each other early and stay married for so long. We are lucky–we both have similar goals and values–but luck is what we’ve made of it.

Snake and I started off as friends. We were friends for months before we ever dated and I believe that was the basis for our communication throughout our relationship.

No one should stay in a bad relationship or marriage. Period. That said, no relationship is perfect either. It’s a daily choice to stay together and grow together.

We’ve had challenges and a lot of disagreements over the years. Most of them minor, but there have been some big ones. We always had the choice to decide that it wasn’t worth trying to work out the problem. But, in the end, for us, the right choice has always been to talk things through and come to a compromise or solution.

It hasn’t been easy. It isn’t just dumb luck that keeps us together. There were no birds singing as we found our “soul mate.” The key has been communication. That communication comes through normal life and our D/s. Neither would work without it.

And snuggles. Daily snuggles. Kisses and little routines that keep us connected. It’s a choice, but it’s the best choice we’ve ever made.

If you are not connecting on a daily basis with your spouse you are exchanging a soul mate for a roommate and that’s just a bad deal.

Maggie Reyes