“Just let it go.” We start hearing it when we are children and someone “borrows” our stuff without asking. Or takes our swing or calls us a name. Or any other variety of seemingly insignificant hurts.
And no, I don’t think we need to, or should, obsess over each little thing. It’s easy to do, though, particularly when other things aren’t going the way I want.
On the other hand, it’s not healthy to let other people just take advantage or hurt us and “let it go” just to keep the peace.
Where’s the line? I have no idea. I overreact to small things and put up with big things sometimes. I can rant at Snake about something someone did or said that another time I probably wouldn’t have even noticed.
The line moves depending on my mood, my stress level and probably the movement of the stars. And that’s probably just human nature. I’d love to say that I’m getting better at that piece of letting go, but I’m not sure that’s honest.
What I am getting better at letting go is my identity clutter. No, I didn’t make up the term. I’m borrowing it because I think it’s the best way to describe holding onto ideas of myself or items that no longer define who I am.
What’s an example? I’m a person who loves to do crafts and I collected a lot of craft books for ideas. I’ve started going through them and realizing that while the number of things that a person could do with paper is amazing, I’m not that person. I’ve gone through probably 10 this past year and wondered who the person was who thought this looked like fun. It’s certainly not the person who is now looking through the book!
Or the organ that I loved as a kid. I was going to go back to playing it again someday. Ha! Spoiler–no, I didn’t. And finally instead of feeling guilty about not playing it, I gave it away so someone else could love it.
It isn’t only objects. It’s the idea of “who” I will be when I grow up. I still don’t know the answer to that question, and I am definitely of an age where I should be considered a grown up. And honestly? The idea of who I want to be changes as I change and grow.
So, for me, the idea of letting go is getting rid of what isn’t working and moving on to find the next thing that might just be the perfect fit.
When I let go of what I am,
Lao Tzu
I become what I might be.
Snake and I set off on a journey years ago. We are still becoming and maybe that’s all that letting go really is.
I had never heard the term “identity clutter” before, but I love it. And makes a lot of sense. This year is my declutter year, and it feels soooo good.
I must say, I agree about not letting things go just for an easy life. My line comes when holding on causes me more harm than good. Sometimes it is right and good to rant. Other times, particularly with the big things, I feel like I’ve sorted it re. the other person but holding onto it is stopping me from moving forward. That’s when I cross the line and *try* to let go. It’s hard though, isn’t it?!
Thank you so much for linking up!
It really is a perfect expression and really resonates. And letting go is really hard!
“getting rid of what isn’t working and moving on to find the next thing that might just be the perfect fit”
I am in this phase now, working with a coach on finding the authentic me, and get away from all those ‘inner voices’ that always told me I am not worth it, or not good enough, or not allowed to ask, etc. It’s a process to go though, but I’m finding myself…
Sometimes we do need to let go of the restrictions we have placed on ourselves.
~ Marie xox
I think it’s a lifelong process.
Xox
Life flows and we change. Hopefully for the best. But not always.
All rivers flow. Life is changing, we are changing and at the same time our ideas about who we are and who we want to be change. But, someday the day will come when we will be forced to say: “It’s already a lot too late for me, I won’t become much and I will never fly to amazing stars.”