You always listen to music or audiobooks while you are in the shower. This morning, I decide to take advantage of the fact that your volume is turned up and play with you a bit.

I send you a text and hear the notification ring on your phone. You tell Google to play the message and I hear a robot voice read my message to you.

Simon says that you can’t wear clothes today.

“What the fuck…” you say. “OK Google, repeat message.”

Simon says that you can’t wear clothes today.

I send another message. I hear the notification ring, followed by your voice. “OK Google, play message.”

Simon says that you are my slave for the day.

“OMFG…” The water turns off and I hear you pull back the shower curtain. You open the door and come out dripping wet.

“Are you having fun?”

“Oh, I am…and the fun is just beginning. Make sure you keep that speaker with you today. I’ll have plenty for you to do.”

You turn to go back to the bathroom. “Simon didn’t say you can leave yet.”

You turn back around. “May I dry off?”

I send a message and the phone dings. Sighing, you say, “OK Google, play message.”

Simon says that you may dry off quickly. Charmer has some needs to be attended to.