Were we always kinky? Yes, definitely. Were we always kinky the way we are now? Not really.

We grew up sexually together. Neither of us had had a huge amount of experience before we dated since we started dating at 18.

Almost from the beginning we explored. You know, the “massager” from Spencer’s Gifts? Light bondage, feathers, different positions and more.

I don’t think that I can remember a time where there wasn’t a bit of it in our sex life. Including the first time where we were in a room with other people sleeping and trying to be quiet about it. In retrospect, I imagine that we weren’t quite as sneaky as we thought we were at the time.

The main difference is that at the beginning, and for a while, we were equal opportunity kinksters. This went on for a while until I finally realized that I just wasn’t enjoying being the recipient of bondage and blindfolds and such.

This happened about the same time as busy life and work and our sex life definitely got much more vanilla and much less frequent. It got to the point where it wasn’t often and wasn’t fun and we decided to explore what needed to happen.

Enter books and the internet. As we both researched to find things that interested us, we both tended towards the D/s dynamic. We really already had an FLR since I ran things at the house while his job was at the office. I’ve never worked well at an office and we’ve been lucky to have our own business where we formed my job around the ability to do it virtually.

Once we both knew the direction that we wanted to take, sex became fun again. The kink was back the way it worked best for us and it’s been so much better.

We each blog to each other twice a week about things that look interesting or how a session went or ideas for taking photographs. We have set aside definite days for play where we know we’ll have time. We’ve started replacing toys that we didn’t like and started expanding those that we really enjoy.

So, to me, kink is a journey. And the best part is the side trips that you never expected.