It’s been one of those times, the times where you push and push and push and pull back. Then push more. I end up a hot mess. I swear, to you, it’s like having a toy, a challenge.

You’ve seen my eyes grow when I see the wheel appear. You see my expression as it washes over me that the cuffs are set to “no slack” mode and that I need to find other ways to deal.

It’s in these times that I actively seek out the ways to give, rather than take, the scene. I try to be what is needed in the moment. Yes, the sensations you deal out are meant to build, build, build and overload. Yes, I know that’s coming. I do realize that. But my job, after a point, is stop fighting and just give over my responses, my digging my heals in, my objections.

The energy changes then. It changes to continuous flow back and forth. I can actually sense you changing when that happens. You pull harder at me, you push harder, but in those moments, you’re taking, giving and creating all of this energy. We become a different couple, almost a team, to relish this bit of time when the energy starts feeding on itself.

And after. I look up and that grin. That ever-present grin is there. And you’re just letting me ride the wave, much the same as you are, just different headspaces.

It’s dreamy, that first look at you – my eyes open slowly and start to adjust…