I’m a techie kind of person. I really like, and even need, to understand the why of how things work. Even me. And one of the things that I really geek out on are these ideas of conflicting … things.

My favorite? Pain and pleasure.

The relationship between pain and pleasure is something that I just can’t really wrap my head around. Charmer would jump in here and say “ya know, you CAN just go with it… you don’t have to analyze EVERYTHING” – but that’s how my head works.

My first real experience with this was our first true paddle (as compared to the much less sturdy other paddles we’d played with). I still remember the look on Charmer’s face.

Opens box. Unwraps paddle. It’s 3/4″ thick, about 12″ long, 6″ wide. Solid oak.

She looks at it and I swear, just for a minute, it was an “oh. I see. This is pretty solid…” then a “hey, this is pretty solid!” – all passed behind her eyes.

Then, what do you do when you get a new toy? You have to give it a try, yeah?

Playful smack. On me of course. Followed by another. Probably total of 3-5. Nothing big deal, easy smacks. No problem. Stung, but … whatever.

The energy though. The energy was like one of those paddle balls – where you bounce the ball, attached by a string to the paddle, over and over again. Sometimes up, sometimes out, sometimes down, it’s a great toy for kids.

But with this paddle, the energy shot straight out. Through me. And, well, stopped in front. Because before I could could those 3-5 light smacks, before I could play around with getting away, she spun me around and giggled that DOMME-ly giggle. I was hard in a flash. All of that energy went right through me and lodged itself right where there was no hiding ANYTHING.

How weird.

My brain fritzed. My head kinda went “huh?” and my body – oh, about groin level – went “awwwwww, yeah.”

How does that even work?

Clamps? Hurt like a mother! But…

Bites? Hurt like a mother on steroids! But…

What is this magical relationship? How can that even be a thing? Honestly? I’ve read all I can find on it. I’m sure there are some people somewhere making sense of it all. But I can’t wrap my head around it. Mostly because it’s cool, it’s a blast to play with, and I kinda love not fully understanding why this thing (ouch) causes that thing (schawing!).

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