Restless

There are days when writing this blog is easy. Two or three posts will come out with no effort at all. Other times, I scan memes and other blog posts and I stare at a blank screen. Today, of course, is the latter.

I’m restless.

I don’t want to do this. I don’t want to do that. I want everything that I want and nothing that I don’t. And adulting sucks.

We’ve had several months of a lot of family drama and having to make adjustments that we didn’t necessarily want to do. We’ve been called out of town and had our schedule messed up. Work still goes on and needs to happen. Wah, wah, wah…

I was talking to someone today about life being a series of course corrections. When one thing doesn’t work, it isn’t a failure but just an indication that things need to be tweaked and adjusted. I’m absolutely awesome at seeing when someone else is stuck in their head and in a rut.

Me? Not so much. I wallow in my head and bitch that I don’t like the way things are and I want my own way. Terribly productive, no? But, I also know me and know that I need time to feel and process and be unhappy that I don’t always get to choose my own way. Even if it obviously would be best for everyone.

So, while I find my new direction and new journey and new obsessions and new bliss, I am restless. I know that the new will be good and there are bridges to the past. Going forward and stepping out of what WAS good before but changed is hard. But standing still is not an option unless you are a tree and even they lose branches and grow new limbs.

I know it will pass. And in the meantime I hope not to drive Snake completely crazy.

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