One of the things I really dislike about all of the things we collectively tweet and write about is the fact that we have to hide behind alternate identities, alternate contacts, and be protective of our IRL lives.
In fact, for many, malicious exposure would damage or destroy careers, families, etc. – because “that’s just weird.” Uh huh. Sure.
If I were a blacksmith by hobby, just doing it because it was fun, I enjoyed it, it was relaxing and I found a bunch of friends and a community that also liked doing their own version of blacksmithing… no one would think twice!
Or leatherwork, or woodworking, or dancing or … you get the idea. The fact is, that this thing we do carries with it such a weird and two-faced edge.
Pornhub is said to be one of the top web sites in the world by traffic. Surpassing Netflix(!) and other major sites – but yet all of the things we do and talk about and enjoy and are curious about… are but whispered about, while the same people (clearly) that head to that site, work on shutting down bloggers, Tumblr’s and so-on.
It’s become this unmentionable point of passion for people. What a weird disconnect that is. People can’t talk about it, can’t acknowledge it, except to say they disapprove. Until they get home (or wherever) and then, go nuts go wild, but DON’T TALK ABOUT IT. Oh, and the neighbors, heck, even their relatives, are likely to be interested, experimenting and exploring at the very least from time to time too.
I’ve written before that I think it’s just a flat-out disservice that things are hushed and hidden in this space. And I think the two-faced side of things leads to more injury and ignorance and mental anguish just because of that very disconnect between interest and healthy experimentation mixed with hiding.
Do I think we’re all sex fiends? Nah. (Well, ya know, perhaps except for me), but the fact that the 50 colors of off blue, and the show on Showtime and the show on Netflix and the web site mentioned above are all so very interesting to people is really saying something about the interest levels.
I remember Lady Heather from CSI – she became a character that returned from time to time to help out with different cases that involved different aspects of D/s and fetish things in general – Grissom would talk to her about how it all worked, ask questions, she’d help with some profiling and real-life information. At the time of the episode, people would snicker… “heh, people like THAT?!? How weird!” but if you talk with so many different people today about all of that, they’ll get this glint in their eye and grin. What they SAY, and how they respond with body language are two very different things. That 50 colors books didn’t become a sensation because no one was interested.
I hope we soon move beyond the unmentionable aspect of this thing we do – and more to the experimentation, exploration and relaxed acceptance side of things… It can’t come soon enough.