“Dom-space” has always been a fascinating thing to me. Everyone always focuses on sub-space, that floaty, other-worldly feeling that you can get to if the stars align, if you jump around just so on your left foot and if you chase it down and allow it in.
When you settle in for impact play, it’s extremely challenging to be able to give responses, give control, let the impacts roar through you. Each time there is a smack or the ends of the flogger make contact, or the crop bites into you, there is an instant connection between you and the Dominant partner.
It’s in the zap of energy as it connects.
It’s in the rush of white heat that screams through your body to your brain.
It’s in your response. Do you yelp? Do you cry out?
Those connections drive the Dom-space as much as they drive any sub-space. The submissive partner has to push through it, has to make sure everyone knows it’s ok to continue (assuming it is) and chase that energy.
It’s the chasing of that energy – the impact, the zap of energy, the rush of pain and white-hot energy blowing through your body – that drives both people. The submissive partner can chase it down, embrace it, let it become a bit overwhelming at times, and perhaps a lot overwhelming at times. That’s when the magic kicks in.
For both of you.
The Dominant pulls on that energy – it’s almost like it runs through you and out of your body into theirs. It drives them forward. It drives them to do more, while still taking care of you. It fuels their energy, it pushes them toward that transparent barrier where the world gets smaller and smaller and other things melt away until there is only the two of you.
The magical spot where all of this comes together is where there is just the two of you. It wouldn’t matter if you were in the middle of a stadium, or alone in your own personal space or room. Focus. Attention. Awareness. Swimming in the energy.
It’s a difficult thing to get there, and the stars have to align and everyone has to be at a trusting place with it.
But the biggest controlling piece is the submissive partner. They provide the feedback, they feed the energy out, almost egging on the scene.
For the submissive partner, it’s all about the conviction to trust, to submit, continue forward within their boundaries, exploring those spaces between.