Not sure what it is about birthdays and anniversaries that make you stop and take stock. It’s our anniversary time of year and it’s hard to overstate just how much of a year of change this has been.
On the personal front, many changes. But on the “lifestyle” front, so many things have started to impact our lives in such amazing, positive ways. The last year has been one of growing and learning and exploring. What a rush it’s been.
For me, I’ve learned that there is so much to this D/s and FLR lifestyle. While they are definitely intertwined, they are separate areas. We’ve managed to start putting many, many things in place. And I love it. I never really thought about it before. I just would never have considered the feelings of “right” that I’ve discovered in working with Charmer in so many areas.
I love the excuse it all brings to do things for her. I suppose it’s “serving” her, but I stumble over the term. For me, it’s just a race to see if I can find new ways to make her life, our life, easier. I’m not saying that I have put on an apron and danced around the house as I gleefully dust the shelves.
What I am saying is that I actively look for ways to be involved. I look for ways to take things off her plate and share the workload. I look for ways to make things easier for her. And it not only helps her, but I have this newly discovered “warm feeling inside” in doing these things. It sounds corny, I do realize that. I guess I really like the control I have over all of these things.
In my “other” life – you know, the one that pays the bills – I’m very much the “Alpha” and have both a lot of control and none. As anyone will attest that has significant responsibilities for people, products, business and sales, you feel in control, but in many cases, you’re trying to control the chaos for a particular income.
With the subbie, warm feelings inside (puke) side of me with Charmer, I’ve found that I can control and really do well at managing things in our personal lives so she doesn’t have to do them. Yep. I do dust, laundry, deal with things around the house. She does too – but now the individual work load is shifted. And it’s good. Very good.
It flips my subbie buttons.
And that’s something that’s come to really be clearer in the last year (going back to how I started this post), my subbie buttons exist! I had no real idea. I had glimmers, but nothing that I’d ever considered. I’ve learned so much, but I also know for sure that I have so much more to learn.
It’s so not just about the bedroom sub stuff (though, I have to tell you, um, wow), but rather about the whole of what we’re experiencing together.
– A chastity cage for me – amazing and conversation-inducing. It works on many levels to bring new attention to your love life. I’ll have more on this as we go forward. But to me, it makes no sense the level of impact it has had on our lives. 24×7, been using for more than a year at this point. LOVE it. It’s not for everyone, but… wow.
– Power exchange – goes with the first item. Kink, I suppose. We’re lovin’ it. (Sorry McD)
– FLR – so much – more to come, but learning and enjoying
– New friends and confidants! Wow. NEVER thought this would be a side-effect.
Anyway, all of this to say that we’re off having a rather intense, kinky celebration of our anniversary. Will be on-again, off-again on twitter and the like, but hope you take some time to do some personal thinking about all you’ve done in the last year… and what you’ll do looking forward.