Of Safewords and Overload

Safewords are a funny thing. Pretty regularly you’ll see “It’s ok to safeword” on twitter, blogs and all of the places we collectively go to read, write and interact. This is critical, important, and something too many people consider leaving out of a D/s or kink scene. Beforehand, it’s easy to be swept up in the draw of a scene, or a relationship, or both.

But, in the heat of the moment, that’s NOT the time to be calling out “zucchini fries!!!!” at the top of your lungs, thinking it’s your safeword. Get that stuff established at the onset.

Continue reading “Of Safewords and Overload”

Luck can be a b*tch

Having your fortunes determined by luck is a touchy thing to try. Letting that determine when and whether you get to do a thing is very high trust. As the /s/ in the situation here, I always get these thoughts in my head that “this time it’ll be different” and “heck, they can’t possibly ALWAYS” win – surely there’s some luck here that will turn my way…

Continue reading “Luck can be a b*tch”

Carnal Retreat

We’ve always dreamed of having a vacation away. Like, really away. We’ve cleared calendars. Actually left behind the phones, let everyone know we were traveling to the ends of the earth, so… good luck reaching us. It might not be that remote in reality, but we planned a completely dedicated, carnal time.

Continue reading “Carnal Retreat”

Bodies are Weird. A Different Story of Betrayal – Body Betrayal.

It seems like I should have great control over my own body. I’ve always worked to have the strength (and will) to work through whatever I can foresee happening. Of course, that’s not a perfect goal, but it IS something I actively reach for. This runs the full range, from O-control to being able to do fancy-schmancy dance moves.

But this isn’t a fancy-schmancy dance moves kinda site, ya know? So you know where I’m headed…

Continue reading “Bodies are Weird. A Different Story of Betrayal – Body Betrayal.”

Near Misses and Kink Orbits

I’ve been thinking a lot about how D/s and all of this has woven into our lives – it’s a huge piece of our responses, our reactions to thing that happen in daily life. And, you also see it literally everywhere in the kink space – from Fetlife to Twitter and other spaces. People lean on their D/s side, their kink side, to help right the ship of life when things get choppy.

Continue reading “Near Misses and Kink Orbits”

Finally Figured Out My Kink

I always see these checklist of stuff that people (may) like to do, be, participate in, have done, whatever. I’m sure you’ve seen them – my favorite was a Periodic Table of Kink where it showed, by “type” different things people may be interested in. My OCD loves that it’s broken into the different areas and ideas.

But, of course, as soon as you start really looking, you find that there are so very many things (let alone Rule 34) that people like to do. You can see this on Fetlife too – 1000’s of kinks, from situational to objects to every combination you can imagine.

Continue reading “Finally Figured Out My Kink”

Unmentionable Lifestyle

One of the things I really dislike about all of the things we collectively tweet and write about is the fact that we have to hide behind alternate identities, alternate contacts, and be protective of our IRL lives.

In fact, for many, malicious exposure would damage or destroy careers, families, etc. – because “that’s just weird.” Uh huh. Sure.

Continue reading “Unmentionable Lifestyle”

Elabor8: “Tell me more…”

Playtime is a great thing. Playtime can be a torturous time too though. Charmer tends to lean hard on the torture side of things – sometimes physical, sometimes mental. This is a perfect example of one of those times.

She likes to step all over my inability to talk about anything sexual, to answer direct, specific questions about something that’s going on. Of course, once she finds one of those soft spots, she pokes and pokes and pokes at it, just because she can.

Continue reading “Elabor8: “Tell me more…””

The Story Continues…

From SteelChrmr’s post:


It’s very quiet over here, like I am home alone. But I’m not. The lights are off and it’s dark but I can sense you. In the dark. Waiting. Watching.

I fumble for the light switch by the door. “No,” comes from somewhere in front of me. I hear a noise slightly to my left. I turn, unsure of where you are or what I’m hearing until I see the bright flame…


I see the silhouette of your body in the faintest of the light as my eyes adjust. You’re in the tub, lounging, and I can’t even see enough to know if you’re smiling. I can just make out the outline of your breast in the candlelight.

“Stand there” you say as your hand passes by the light, pointing.

Continue reading “The Story Continues…”

Fear

Fear is a funky part of This Thing We Do. When you talk about how fear plays into your time with your partner, people immediately go to the idea of threats of pain, or getting in trouble for this or that – but if you think about it, it’s a much more core, more primal thing that plays a huge role in TTWD.

Continue reading “Fear”

Battle for Control

I’m not sure why I fight. I’m not sure why I even think I CAN fight.

But I do, nearly every time. Maybe it’s a fantasy of outlasting the evening, of showing what a master of control I can be. Of showing how I can “beat” her and not let her take the control from me.

I lose every. single. time.

Continue reading “Battle for Control”

Construction Site (WW Prompt, first post on timeline)

The recent rains were brutal on the not-yet-paved roads out to the new lot. While I was really excited about the location, the truck was bouncing around so much that I am having second thoughts about how it is going to be when storms rolled through. I found that if I gunned it over the normal washboard stuff, it smoothed out.

You? You want me to gun it the entire way up the hill. Through the seemingly ocean-sized puddles, over the ravines, down the gullies. It’s like watching you ride a mechanical bull, hands in the air, grinning from ear to ear as I fight the steering and bouncing around.

It’s great!

Continue reading “Construction Site (WW Prompt, first post on timeline)”

Technical Sex: Control

This… thing that we do. It all started with just goofing off with kink. It quickly progressed to so many things, so much experimenting, and so much learning. I felt a little like I’d been a slacker all my life, just kind of learning as I go.

Kink, or whatever you want to call this thing we do, showed that you can always be learning here too. She was learning about me, me about her. One of the things that I homed in on early on was control. As in orgasm control. You don’t say “yes,” it doesn’t happen kind of control.

Continue reading “Technical Sex: Control”

Imagination as an additional Sense

I think many times we take it for granted, that we have this additional sense about us that is played with, prodded, poked, yanked, scraped, aggravated, teased and cajoled. I also think it’s one of the most crucial to “this thing we do’  and yet it’s just there… waiting to be unleashed.

They say (who are THEY anyway?) that your biggest sex organ is your mind. So true, and that’s why imagination plays such a huge role. It comes into play before, during and certainly after any type of encounter. Sometimes it’s a good thing, leading you through the planning and helping you be prepared. Other times, messing with that imagination is exactly and precisely the point. To mess with your head.

Continue reading “Imagination as an additional Sense”

Crossing the Line

It’s that look in your eyes that does it. It gives you away every time. I’ve explained it before, but we can be out and about, at a restaurant, at a bar, just walking around, exploring. It doesn’t really matter what’s going on – but I can look over and see that look – it’s all about being in that playful mood.

Depending on the situation, that can be a kid around thing, or it can be a “batten down the hatches” thing where I know things could get really edgy in a very short amount of time.

Continue reading “Crossing the Line”

Control Takes Many Forms

Perhaps not an explicit “fantasy” type of post, but the whole control thing has been one of the more intriguing (and hard to figure out at times) aspects of having a D/SFLR relationship.  It’s oddly a button for me, and it’s a button for Charmer – at opposing ends of the spectrum of course, so it’s been important to figure out.

Continue reading “Control Takes Many Forms”