FLR, D/s, Life and Kink
I had absolutely no idea what to write about epiphany, so, being Charmer, I went looking for a quote and found this:
Continue reading “E is for Epiphany”“I had the epiphany that laughter was light, and light was laughter, and that this was the secret of the universe.”
Donna Tartt
It strikes me that this whole thing (this thing that we do, TTTWD) takes a LOT of heavy lifting at times. Sometimes it’s working out details. A lot of times it’s working to keep an open mind (we’re going to do WHAT??!) and other times, it’s being mindful that you’re trying to change your own behaviors along the way.
Continue reading “Sometimes, A Reset”Thank you to Domina Jen for nominating us. We read her blog regularly and are very honored that she picked us. We don’t do these very often but this nomination came from someone who we both read regularly so I thought I would put my toe in the water.
So, not quite a month ago, I wrote that things were getting back to normal around here. Of course, us being us, normal is a pretty relative term…
Yes, I know…excluding pictures we have dropped off the blogosphere. And even our pictures have been absent some weeks.
Why? Life. And more precisely me. Without getting into a lot of details, I pulled a muscle about two years ago that decided to start being a nuisance last October and by April had sidelined me from almost everything. Apparently when I was nursing the pulled muscle, I changed my stance and messed up my back. When that happened, I stopped moving which messed up my piriformis and all hell broke loose.
I had to stop just about everything that I love doing and just recover. No dance. No weight lifting. Play was pretty much out of the question. It sucked. It beyond sucked. I stopped feeling like me because I couldn’t do what made me “me.” Snake has done so much and put up with so much, particularly raging, that he deserves a medal.
BUT…slowly, I am getting back into stuff. We are dancing again and have a performance next month. I am getting back to weight lifting and even got to use the “big girl plates” for the first time yesterday. I can function again which was just the barest glimmer of hope in June.
And we are starting to be able to play again. Not where we were, but I can now see that we can get there. And I want to get there, which wasn’t even on my radar when everything hurt.
So, we will be back blogging soon. And I just wanted to tell my amazing husband thank you for being there and being my support and my cheerleader and my coach. I love you <3
It’s been awhile. A while since you’ve told me to just, essentially, lay back and relax. I have come to know and understand that that’s not REALLY what you mean. What you REALLY mean is lay back and hold on tight… because you have plans to do something, try something… or just want to play around and see what happens. I’m not sure, but I think this last one is the most challenging – because it usually means any kind of reaction that you think is interesting – if it happens, you get all over it to see how far you can push it.
Turns out, pretty far.
Tonight you are all business. As soon as I lay back, you start to toy with me, stroking, teasing, walking me down that narrow ledge. It hasn’t been that long, so I’m not really expecting to get the golden “yes,” but you’re definitely coming after me with great abandon. Usually you’ll race up to the edge, slow, or stop, then repeat that.
It’s been three months since the last Scrabble challenge. It might still be hot but summer is coming to an end and I thought it was time to break out the tiles again. Because, of course, I like nothing better than to drive him insane…. And we all know how much he LOVES Scrabble. [Oh yay! Scrabble! I LOVE Scrabble tiles. Someone hand me the matches!]
Continue reading “Scrabble Challenge of Olympic Proportions”
I see you across the club, having a drink, dancing with various people, just generally swaying to the music and having a great time. I, on the other hand, can’t take my eyes off you. You’re in this flirty-wispy short country-style skirt and have on boots and an incredible hat. Watching you dance, line dance and just, well, watching you is becoming hazardous. I’m pretty sure you’ve noticed me staring.
I’m doing my best to look away, to not be overly obvious. I grab some liquid courage and have a couple of drinks to take off my nervous edge, but when I look back, I can’t find you anywhere. I start to panic, thinking I’ve missed my chance. I slump into my chair and try to keep telling myself that you’ll be back. But I can’t help feeling like I totally blew it.
Sometimes (often), it’s all about the touch. That’s simply all it takes.
Snake and I have been having this long winded discussion about whether we are doing control or denial. This, of course, means that we have to actually figure out what we mean by those two words….
This all started last week when Thumper posted his May metrics. We, being the nerds that we are, also have spreadsheets and ratios and all of that. Thumper said that he was at 11 for the year so I had to check our stats. Snake is at 6.
Long weekends seem to bring out the fun-loving spontaneous side of me. Or, as Snake likes to put it, the evil and devious side of me. [Snake: I think that depends on your perspective. “fun-loving” – I do think “devious” is more apt] Either way, it’s time for another Scrabble challenge. If you don’t remember the previous ones, here is the first challenge and here is the second one.
[Snake: I KNEW this was coming. After two wins, I even told her after the last one that I was sure that the next one was going to be on the hairy edge of impossible. She hasn’t disappointed.]
I know the Snake Den has been pretty quiet recently. There have been pics and the rare post and story, but not the usual stuff. Muggle life has been keeping us way too busy…
Work… blah, blah, blah… family… blah, blah, blah… miscellaneous nonsense… blah, blah, blah… You get the picture and it’s boring and the same for everyone so, yeah…
I love rock climbing. I have a great group of friends who really enjoy rock climbing too – but they like different things about it. It seems like we’re always discovering new techniques, new tricks, new things that are fun. I love hearing their stories too – things they’ve done and experienced, things they try and either succeed or fail at.
One of the things I really love about rock climbing is the adrenaline rush. When it comes to a new challenge or a new technique, it’s so much fun to try with with toys, from rope to clamps and even special rock climbing clothes we find. It adds a lot to the overall fun of things and can really help the rock climbing experience.
Sometimes, just when I get a bit full of myself, she’s been known to push into my hair and take back control of things. It’s a fast and clear signal to keep my priorities just right.
Continue reading “Hair Is a Great Handle- Always in Control”
It’s been an interesting time around the Snake den. Some good, some challenging, you know, like normal life. But I’m one to look back after the fact and try to dissect the good and the bad, try to understand it. It’s my little present to Charmer, just to do my best to drive her a little nuts.
I’m learning. A lot. I’m learning that I have so much to grow into on the /s/ side of things. I ‘m learning about the impact of small, tiny, eensy-weensy things that add up to mixed signals and weird outcomes. Little missed cues, things like that. Oh, and yes, the dreaded (cue the big booming voice) topping from the bottom.
We’re celebrating and thought we’d share a last picture of our jaunt to Vegas to goof around, see a show or two, eat way too much, drink funky drinks, wander and play.
It’s been a great time – March Madness crowds were extreme, but we had a blast.
Here’s to another amazing year in the books!
Continue reading “Anniversary Times in Vegas – Wine, Charmer and Song”
Last night was one of our rare nights alone with no dance lessons or practice. So, of course, it was time for some teasing and play…
We had to do our photo for #boobday so that’s always a fun tease to begin the night. Snake gets to be behind the camera and take lots of shots and be a professional. No touching, just looking. And, sometimes, you know, it does take a while to get the right shot.
Handing over control is a powerful idea for a lot of guys – chastity goes hand-in-hand with this – you lock it up and hand over the keys and voila! She runs your life, makes the decisions, and things are wonderful. It’s exactly as you imagined it.
Except that’s not how it goes. The reality is you’re two people. You have to work out how you’ll work together, how she’ll make decisions and more. But most of all, she gets to run the show. On the surface, that’s the point. At a deeper level, it’s a huge change.
Charmer has shared her thoughts (here and here) about Chastity and what it’s meant. I thought I’d do the same. My perspective is a little different – same end point, but from a different angle.
Continue reading “What Chastity Has Meant to Me (Male Chastity Day 2016)”
About two weeks ago I wrote about my thoughts when we first started using THE CAGE….I don’t know why but for some reason it always seems like it needs a booming voice to say that.
I talked about the history of our use of THE CAGE–see, you are doing it in your head now too, aren’t you?–and opened up a whole new question set. I said that we didn’t think anything would really change and left it there. Since then there have been a couple of questions about what changed so I’m going to try to talk about that in some coherent way. No promises.
I’ve written quite a lot about my side of things – the power of sub-space, the “buttons” that get pushed for me in this whole thing, etc. It’s a powerful combination of D/s, kink, our FLR and our overall choices of lifestyle. But I stumbled too on to an article talking about the possible guilt associated with the /s/ side of things -that someone is always doing “to” you and taking care of you and… and… and…
And prior to all of this, I’ve written both public and private stories for Charmer and the site that talk about the look – and her attitude when she gets in that space – when she’s in Domme mode, not wife mode. It got me started thinking, then realizing something really important.
Life is interfering with Snake’s blogging… Being a techie nerd, when things fall apart, they tend to take the world with them. So, he’s busy being brilliant in his real life so I thought that I would write…gasp!
Besides–since he won’t be able to make his deadline on his post, it just gives me lots of delicious opportunities to come up with alternative tasks. Maybe a story, maybe an extra picture, maybe something completely new. Oh, the ideas running through my head.
If you follow Snake on Twitter, you might have noticed some pictures and a story that said “Per Charmer’s requirement…” and wondered why I was being so damn pushy… I thought I might tell you what the new year holds for Snake (and me).
We are heading into our third year of our relationship reboot. (Sorry, nerd) Our first year was exploring the D/s side of our relationship. We did a lot of playing with restraints and toys and Snake started wearing his cage. I’m sure that he can tell you the exact date that he ordered his first one but I would say it was January or February of 2014.
Snake has been asking about another game. We haven’t played an official one since the beginning of June so I guess it’s about time to drive him insane again…
The Scrabble tiles are back. You remember how much he adored them the first time, right? Scrabble is his favorite board game. Not. And that just makes it even more fun for me.
The last time that we did a Scrabble game, he was earning points. We haven’t been doing the points lately so the rules have to change. So, instead of points, we are playing for days. To be precise, the number of days before he will be allowed an orgasm. His beginning date is December 18th so a week from today. He will be playing to see if he moves the date forward or backward…
If you ever talk with Charmer, you’ll see that she despises the end of year stuff of doing “a look back” and talking about what’s happened over the course of the year. The news programs will spout about things that happened, shows will talk about guests they had, etc. Drives her a bit crazy. [SSC: Very true. They ignore everything happening now for minutiae and interviews with the stars who made headlines this year. I don’t care about the 15 strangest baby names of the stars this year…]
But here I am. 2015 was a big deal for us because we learned a LOT about us. A lot about how we approach this thing we do. Specifically, our FLR has taken pretty strong hold at this point. I love that it’s not in a fantasy way, although I know you’ll be happy to know that it’s rare that she’s not walking around in black leather with a bullwhip while I dust. (Kidding) [SSC: How else would I get the dusting done?] We’ve found some interesting things that work well for us – I’ve written before about different ways we communicate in different scenarios.