Finding the Way Back


“I am the Bad Wolf. I create myself. I take the words. I scatter them … in time, and space. A message to lead myself here.”


Russell T. Davies

Forgive me if you aren’t a Doctor Who fan because the above quote might seem a bit Little Red Riding Hood. But I found my Bad Wolf shirt this morning and it resonated.

When Snake and I started this blog journey a few years ago, it was bright and shiny and new. Writing was easy. Things flowed. We wrote about everything because it was a constant discovery.

After that initial burst, it’s harder to keep writing the same way. I suppose that it is possible to keep going bigger and MORE all of the time.

Unfortunately, life has a tendency to keep the fantasy 24/7/365 at bay. And it begins to feel boring to write about the same play and the same toys and the same games (Yes, I still love to torment him with Scrabble and Trivial Pursuit).

[Snake:] …and yes, I still typically lose. Over. and. Over again. I mean, seriously. you’d think I’d learn how to form more words or learn more trivia, but I think she has this uncanny way of finding trivia questions that I just have zero clue about… then making them the topic of whatever challenge. It’s just wrong. WRONG!

Then “piriformis syndrome” struck the house. I spent about a year with my wonderful chiropractor and stretching and exercising and recovered. The funny thing is, logically, when something hurts, you stop moving. Sit still and wait for it to heal. Not so much with this–at least with me. The less I did, the more it hurt. Working through the pain made it go away. Kinda blows your mind, huh?

And we started back to doing pictures and stories on the site. Snake and I are in a great place together. EXCEPT…my playful side got put aside while we worked on my recovery. Less play means less to write about. Less to write about means I think about it less often and it is a vicious circle. Writing is a habit that needs nurturing to keep it going.

I’m healed though and I want to find all sorts of new ways to torture and tease Snake. SO…it’s time to create myself again. Find my words that I scattered around and lead myself back to Charmer in all of her glory.

[Snake:] me? I’ll just be hiding. Over here. In the corner. Oh, and whimpering. Likely a lot. Maybe I’ll start memorizing wikipedia or a dictionary. Or both. But then again, she’ll find something else.

Unexplained Absence

Yes, I know…excluding pictures we have dropped off the blogosphere.  And even our pictures have been absent some weeks.

Why?  Life.  And more precisely me.  Without getting into a lot of details, I pulled a muscle about two years ago that decided to start being a nuisance last October and by April had sidelined me from almost everything.  Apparently when I was nursing the pulled muscle, I changed my stance and messed up my back.  When that happened, I stopped moving which messed up my piriformis and all hell broke loose.

I had to stop just about everything that I love doing and just recover.  No dance.  No weight lifting.  Play was pretty much out of the question.  It sucked.  It beyond sucked.  I stopped feeling like me because I couldn’t do what made me “me.”  Snake has done so much and put up with so much, particularly raging, that he deserves a medal.

BUT…slowly, I am getting back into stuff.  We are dancing again and have a performance next month.  I am getting back to weight lifting and even got to use the “big girl plates” for the first time yesterday.   I can function again which was just the barest glimmer of hope in June.

And we are starting to be able to play again.  Not where we were, but I can now see that we can get there.  And I want to get there, which wasn’t even on my radar when everything hurt.

So, we will be back blogging soon.  And I just wanted to tell my amazing husband thank you for being there and being my support and my cheerleader and my coach.  I love you <3