Misty…

I always know he has an idea that will be uncomfortable when Snake apologizes BEFORE I’m even ready to pose for the photo. This morning? Squirt bottle with cold water even after putting hot water in it. The things I do for art…..

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Finding the Way Back


“I am the Bad Wolf. I create myself. I take the words. I scatter them … in time, and space. A message to lead myself here.”


Russell T. Davies

Forgive me if you aren’t a Doctor Who fan because the above quote might seem a bit Little Red Riding Hood. But I found my Bad Wolf shirt this morning and it resonated.

When Snake and I started this blog journey a few years ago, it was bright and shiny and new. Writing was easy. Things flowed. We wrote about everything because it was a constant discovery.

After that initial burst, it’s harder to keep writing the same way. I suppose that it is possible to keep going bigger and MORE all of the time.

Unfortunately, life has a tendency to keep the fantasy 24/7/365 at bay. And it begins to feel boring to write about the same play and the same toys and the same games (Yes, I still love to torment him with Scrabble and Trivial Pursuit).

[Snake:] …and yes, I still typically lose. Over. and. Over again. I mean, seriously. you’d think I’d learn how to form more words or learn more trivia, but I think she has this uncanny way of finding trivia questions that I just have zero clue about… then making them the topic of whatever challenge. It’s just wrong. WRONG!

Then “piriformis syndrome” struck the house. I spent about a year with my wonderful chiropractor and stretching and exercising and recovered. The funny thing is, logically, when something hurts, you stop moving. Sit still and wait for it to heal. Not so much with this–at least with me. The less I did, the more it hurt. Working through the pain made it go away. Kinda blows your mind, huh?

And we started back to doing pictures and stories on the site. Snake and I are in a great place together. EXCEPT…my playful side got put aside while we worked on my recovery. Less play means less to write about. Less to write about means I think about it less often and it is a vicious circle. Writing is a habit that needs nurturing to keep it going.

I’m healed though and I want to find all sorts of new ways to torture and tease Snake. SO…it’s time to create myself again. Find my words that I scattered around and lead myself back to Charmer in all of her glory.

[Snake:] me? I’ll just be hiding. Over here. In the corner. Oh, and whimpering. Likely a lot. Maybe I’ll start memorizing wikipedia or a dictionary. Or both. But then again, she’ll find something else.

Fear

Fear is a funky part of This Thing We Do. When you talk about how fear plays into your time with your partner, people immediately go to the idea of threats of pain, or getting in trouble for this or that – but if you think about it, it’s a much more core, more primal thing that plays a huge role in TTWD.

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Battle for Control

I’m not sure why I fight. I’m not sure why I even think I CAN fight.

But I do, nearly every time. Maybe it’s a fantasy of outlasting the evening, of showing what a master of control I can be. Of showing how I can “beat” her and not let her take the control from me.

I lose every. single. time.

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