Category Archives: Submission

Chastity, D/s, Orgasm control, Submission

She Says My Voice Changes for Her

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Dinner was wonderful.  Nice restaurant, great drinks, and the food was so good.  It was one of those casual “hits” where it all just comes together and makes it a relaxing, fun evening.  As we are walking out, you snuggle up under my arm, nuzzling in against me.

There is this weird, wonderful disconnect that I crave with you.  I can see in your eyes that the Domme side is running through you, but often, before we have play time, you have this tenderness about you, this intense tenderness that takes the world away.  This is one of those times and I slow down a bit walking to the car, just to extend the time.  Selfish, but really nice.

On our way home, you’re talking about friends, happenings, the week – just small talk.  You scoot over closer and put your hand on my cage just completely nonchalantly.  I look at you and grin and you don’t even look back to meet my gaze.  You just keep the conversation going.  You’re pretending it’s not happening, but within just a few seconds, that cage beneath your hands is fully-engaged and hiding what you do to me.

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D/s, FLR, Submission

Submission, D/s FLR, Getting it “Right”

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It’s been an interesting time around the Snake den.  Some good, some challenging, you know, like normal life.  But I’m one to look back after the fact and try to dissect the good and the bad, try to understand it.  It’s my little present to Charmer, just to do my best to drive her a little nuts.

I’m learning.  A lot.  I’m learning that I have so much to grow into on the /s/ side of things.  I ‘m learning about the impact of small, tiny, eensy-weensy things that add up to mixed signals and weird outcomes.  Little missed cues, things like that.  Oh, and yes, the dreaded (cue the big booming voice) topping from the bottom.

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Chastity, D/s, Fiction?, Submission

Who’s the Boss? (She is)

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At the end of the week, as the work day starts to wind down, I’m working to finish up, get everyone their final bits to be done for the day.  I’ve been heads-down for hours, door shut, putting together the dreaded weekend lists for everyone to finish up over the weekend.

There’s a soft knock at the door and I try to ignore it.  But the knocking comes again, this time louder.  I mumble something resembling “come in,” hoping that whomever is on the other side of the door will take the hint and go away.  Nothing happens.  I grin to myself, thinking I succeeded, then the knock again.  Now I’m getting annoyed.  “Come in!” is all I can get out, with an expletive or two under my breath afterward.

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About, Chastity, D/s, Orgasm control, Submission

Charmer’s Thoughts on the Cage Part 2

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About two weeks ago I wrote about my thoughts when we first started using THE CAGE….I don’t know why but for some reason it always seems like it needs a booming voice to say that.

I talked about the history of our use of THE CAGE–see, you are doing it in your head now too, aren’t you?–and opened up a whole new question set.  I said that we didn’t think anything would really change and left it there.  Since then there have been a couple of questions about what changed so I’m going to try to talk about that in some coherent way.  No promises.

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D/s, Submission, TENS Play, Wartenberg Wheel

That Damn Wheel Again

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We had a rare opportunity of having the house to ourselves this last weekend, so noisier play was something that was possible.  Charmer seems to always have a way of taking advantage of that – and this was no different.

She’d already sort of given me a hint – ok, slap upside the head – about some of what we’d be doing because she told me to make sure the clamps were out (why does it bug me to say “nipple clamps?”) and that the TENS unit was fully charged.  We’ve played with the (!) clamps before of course – and the TENS unit we dabbled with but didn’t really push.

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D/s, Fiction?, Impact Play, Orgasm control, Submission

Be Careful What You Wish For

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I really should learn not to joke around about things that I’m just not quite certain about at the time.  It may seem like something you wish for at the time in an abstract sense, but it can be extremely intense in reality.  It plants a seed in you that you keep around for later use and it has been known to come back to haunt me a bit in the future on more than one occasion.

“ha ha – wouldn’t it be funny if you…” is a dangerous entry into a charged scene.  Even though it’s a fantasy or even fleeting thought at the time I may mention it, your mind has this ability to grab onto it and take it to the farthest possible extreme.  Sometimes this is good, sometimes it’s a little shocking.

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D/s, FLR, Submission

Batteries, Dom(me)s and Energy

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I’ve written quite a lot about my side of things – the power of sub-space, the “buttons” that get pushed for me in this whole thing, etc.  It’s a powerful combination of D/s, kink, our FLR and our overall choices of lifestyle.  But I stumbled too on to an article talking about the possible guilt associated with the /s/ side of things -that someone is always doing “to” you and taking care of you and… and… and…

And prior to all of this, I’ve written both public and private stories for Charmer and the site that talk about the look – and her attitude when she gets in that space – when she’s in Domme mode, not wife mode.  It got me started thinking, then realizing something really important.

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D/s, Fiction?, Submission

Before You Go…

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Every morning, the standard rule is to present myself to you immediately after my shower.  I never really know what to expect of course; that’s part of the game.  At one time, a hug.  At another time, you’d get me just the point of “inflating” and send me on my way.  Many times, it’s marks.

Today was no exception.  You decide you’d make sure everything was well, check the cage, leave behind some teeth impressions.  It’s always just enough to get the rush initiated, but never enough to do any more than that.  To call it wonderfully frustrating might be a good description.  I love these times.

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About, Chastity, D/s, FLR, Submission

At the Request of Charmer….

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If you follow Snake on Twitter, you might have noticed some pictures and a story that said “Per Charmer’s requirement…” and wondered why I was being so damn pushy…  I thought I might tell you what the new year holds for Snake (and me).

We are heading into our third year of our relationship reboot. (Sorry, nerd)  Our first year was exploring the D/s side of our relationship.  We did a lot of playing with restraints and toys and Snake started wearing his cage.  I’m sure that he can tell you the exact date that he ordered his first one but I would say it was January or February of 2014.

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Chastity, D/s, Orgasm control, Submission

That Feeling When She Sinks Down on Me

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So, there I was.  Flat on my back, raring to go.  Charmer had that look in her eyes that she was really looking forward to being on top and I have to admit to loving it too.

I love that feeling when she sinks down on me, then just stops and lets things settle.  I look forward to it, consciously, even when we’re apart.  This time was no different.  Except that it was different.  As she lowered herself, my brain was screaming “YES!  Here it comes!”  but my body was reporting in that nothing was going on.

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About, Chastity, D/s, Orgasm control, Submission

Another Scrabble Challenge

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Snake has been asking about another game.  We haven’t played an official one since the beginning of June so I guess it’s about time to drive him insane again…

The Scrabble tiles are back.  You remember how much he adored them the first time, right?  Scrabble is his favorite board game.  Not.  And that just makes it even more fun for me.

The last time that we did a Scrabble game, he was earning points.  We haven’t been doing the points lately so the rules have to change.   So, instead of points, we are playing for days.  To be precise, the number of days before he will be allowed an orgasm.   His beginning date is December 18th so a week from today.  He will be playing to see if he moves the date forward or backward…

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About, FLR, Submission

2015 – Getting Our Feet Planted

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If you ever talk with Charmer, you’ll see that she despises the end of year stuff of doing “a look back” and talking about what’s happened over the course of the year.  The news programs will spout about things that happened, shows will talk about guests they had, etc.  Drives her a bit crazy. [SSC:  Very true.  They ignore everything happening now for minutiae and interviews with the stars who made headlines this year.    I don’t care about the 15 strangest baby names of the stars this year…]

But here I am.  2015 was a big deal for us because we learned a LOT about us.  A lot about how we approach this thing we do.  Specifically, our FLR has taken pretty strong hold at this point.  I love that it’s not in a fantasy way, although I know you’ll be happy to know that it’s rare that she’s not walking around in black leather with a bullwhip while I dust.  (Kidding)  [SSC:  How else would I get the dusting done?]  We’ve found some interesting things that work well for us – I’ve written before about different ways we communicate in different scenarios.

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Chastity, D/s, Orgasm control, Submission

Continuing to Learn About Myself, Feeling a Bit Like a Puppet

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It’s really strange to be “my age” and be learning big things about yourself.  Sure, no one likes to stop learning and I hope that it never happens, but to be having these pretty surprising things come up over and over again is pretty cool and remarkable.

We’re wrapping up our time in Vegas – a mini-vacation as we head into what will surely be a great time of year for us and the family, but will just as surely be a stressful one.  It’s great to get away and goof off and just relax a bit.  Hey, I even won $14.50 today on a slot machine.  Can’t complain.

You may be tired of having me write about O-control and what I learn, but this stuff, to me, is bordering on epiphany stuff.  During this time in Vegas, Charmer has been messing with me in all sorts of ways.  The first night out alone she flipped the “me, not you” switch and enforced the denial portion of our dynamic.  But something is changing and this was the first time I’d seen this in myself.

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Chastity, FLR, Orgasm control, Submission

Vegas Day 1…Can I?

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Sitting here and waiting for breakfast to arrive while looking out at the Vegas strip.  This has always been one of our favorite places to visit.  When we were in college, it was only a five hour drive so we would come early Friday morning and go back on Sunday a few times a year.  Of course, that was when we stayed in the $29 per night more-than-a-little-scary motels.

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Chastity, D/s, FLR, Orgasm control, Submission

On Being Horngry

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Denial and orgasm control are funny things.  With a cage, enforced chastity becomes a thing of power exchange and control.  She holds the power to grant or deny orgasms, period.  Yes, I realize it doesn’t *require* a cage, but I can tell you in times when the “game is afoot,” it sure makes things more clear.

I had a weird experience this last weekend in terms of learning to work through this whole control and power exchange thing we do.  We’d had a great day on Saturday, a lazy, relaxing evening and were just basically lounging around doing nothing in particular.  [SSC:  I was, however, sitting in a tight pair of jeans and knee-high boots that were driving him a little crazy.]   When we did retire for the evening, Charmer decided to punish me for being to suggestive throughout the day.  I was pretty surprised by this – but I couldn’t honestly tell if it was punishment, excuse or teasing.  Turns out it was more teasing than anything, but it sure worked.

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D/s, Impact Play, Spanking, Submission

What the F*ck is Wrong with Me?

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That’s what I ended up asking Charmer at the end of our time together over the weekend.  It was about 4:30a, and we’d just been through a very intense time together.

Let me rewind a bit.

She’d been accumulating infractions and been teasing the idea of trying out some of her new implements that she’d had me order.   A couple of paddle-type implements, a crop, a strap and even a cat-o-nine tails.   She’d done research and found these were a good cross-section of different implements and that each had different, well, impact.  [SSC:  Side note:  We had also just rocked our first serious solo dance performance in front of friends and family. ]  After binge-watching a few shows earlier in the evening, it came to after midnight and she told me to go get things ready for her.

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Chastity, D/s, Orgasm control, Submission

The Song That Kept Looping Through My Brain…

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As most of you know, Snake has been caged and chaste since July 23rd.  I decided that he needed an extended period of time locked to put him back into his subby mindset.  He wrote about it here.  Since then, he has one ruined and quite a bit of playtime with me on him, but no orgasms.  The earliest date that he was going to be allowed to come was September 7th, but because of circumstances, last night was *the night*.

It started off as a pretty average Wednesday night around here.  We went to our dance lesson, which we rocked, came home and had dinner and I had a bath.  After the last two nights of being denied, I’m pretty sure that he was expecting it again last night.  Have to keep the boy guessing…

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Chastity, D/s, FLR, Orgasm control, Submission

Sub-Blocked

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All day she’d been teasing me, telling me that that night she’d be exercising her Domme side, something I was really looking forward to and, since it’d been so long since we’d had time to ourselves, I was also a bit anxious about just what that would be.  We’ve recently decided to up the ante quite a lot on our D/s relationship and the FLR side as well.  Something I’ve been working through, not perfectly, but working on it.  It also lays entirely at her feet what happens, when, and at what level.

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Chastity, D/s, FLR, Submission

6.5 Things You MUST Do As A Submissive

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I’ve seen a whole series of articles and posts going around talking about what’s required to be a Dom(me).  Of course the articles are all about the fact that there simply is not a “one true path” to being a Dom(me) but more of a mindset that you make your own.

There is so much information “out there” that gives rules on what is, and is not, truly fulfilling that role.  From what you need to be thinking to how you are with your partners and submissive partners.  Needless to say, it’s all bunk.  The only way this can work is if you make it your own. There are infinite flavors and infinite ideas on what you may find appealing.  Need inspiration?  Everything from Fetlife to amazing writers (looking at you Domme Chronicles and so many more) that talk about so many aspects of things to think about.

But that’s not what this post is about.

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