The past few weeks have definitely been a challenge with writing. I’m not an inspired writer without something to play off to begin with and the inability to do my “normal” messes with my head.
Continue reading “Blogging and Writer’s Block”Not Insomnia
I very very rarely have insomnia. I can probably count on my fingers the number of times that I actually can’t sleep–occasionally not stay asleep, but even that is a rarity.
Continue reading “Not Insomnia”Boundaries
Content warning: Deals with current events and 9/11
Boundaries are a struggle for me. I tend to go either too loose or totally tighten them down. I don’t compromise very well with them at all.
Continue reading “Boundaries”Inter-Dependency and Kink
I was having a conversation with a good friend online this morning, talking about the differences between kink and sex and how all of these things weave into relationships and how we see and are with our partners. Then, they said the darndest thing.
Continue reading “Inter-Dependency and Kink”Toxic
What makes a person toxic? To me, it’s a person who can’t see past their own lives and experiences and empathize. If it doesn’t forward their own view of themselves, make them money or something for them, the person or experience or whatever is worthless.
Continue reading “Toxic”Shutting Up the Inner Voice
When I thought about what to write about my inner voice, I started searching quotes for something that would inspire me. There were so many that talked about always listening to that voice, how it was your true self and that it was more important than listening to others.
Continue reading “Shutting Up the Inner Voice”Charmer’s Thoughts on Balancing Needs
Needs. Wants. How to figure out which is which and even more important, how to balance it all.
I wish I had a good answer on how I do it. I don’t think that I do it all that well at times. I think that I confuse my own wants and needs quite often. I might think it’s a need, but is it? Or do I just want it so much that I think that I need it?
Continue reading “Charmer’s Thoughts on Balancing Needs”Charmer’s Priorities for 2020
Priorities are always a struggle for me. Personal relationship ones are easy. I tend to love spending time with and doing things for the people in my life.
Continue reading “Charmer’s Priorities for 2020”Rewards and Punishment from the Charmer Side
I admit that when we first started our path through D/s and FLR, rewards and punishment weren’t on the top of my mind. Partly, I think because our relationship had history where Snake tends to do what I like and he rarely fights anything with me unless he feels really strongly about it.
Continue reading “Rewards and Punishment from the Charmer Side”Charmer as a Dust Devil
If you don’t live in a hot dry climate, you may never have seen a dust devil. They are like a mini tornado that come out of nowhere, spiraling dirt and other debris into the air and then are gone. Once in a while they cause some damage but usually they are just a nuisance.
Continue reading “Charmer as a Dust Devil”Charmer and Travel
I have an absolute love of travel. And an absolute hatred of it. We’ve traveled a lot of different ways in our marriage and each one has its positives and negatives.
Continue reading “Charmer and Travel”My Attic
It is so hard to describe the crazy out of control feelings that you are sure that you are the only one who experiences and feel like a complete freak at time when reality doesn’t matter to your brain.
Or is that just me?
Continue reading “My Attic”The Boy in the Photo
Trigger warning: suicide
This is definitely not the usual Charmer post. I wasn’t sure if I would write for this post because it’s a subject that has a lot of baggage for me. A friend told me that I should, that what I have to say might make a difference, so…
Continue reading “The Boy in the Photo”Love Me Some Sunshine
I am fortunate–well, some might say unlucky–to live in a place with sunshine about 286 days out of the year. Yes, it does get hot in the summer and we rarely get snow but the sunshine is abundant.
Continue reading “Love Me Some Sunshine”Rituals
My first thought, being non-religious, was nope. We don’t do rituals. I tend to think of them as parts of the experience of religion which doesn’t really have a part in my life. Yes, I have a Christmas tree so I suppose that qualifies but it doesn’t feel ritualistic in my head.
Continue reading “Rituals”Three Things to Know
I think back to me at 5 and where we were in the world. I was in Stockholm for over half of the year because my dad was working on a long-term project there. I have some very clear memories and mostly a lot of foggy ones.
Continue reading “Three Things to Know”My Person
I don’t think that will come as a surprise to anyone that Snake is my person. In so many ways that I can only hope that I am half the person to him that he is to me.
Continue reading “My Person”Perfectionism
Do I struggle with perfectionism? Absolutely. In fact, as I started to write this, I went searching for the “perfect” quote to match my thoughts about perfection and started spinning on which one was the “right” one.
Continue reading “Perfectionism”