Motivation, Chastity and Life

I have said it before – I love the ways that all of this thing we do can be done. Flavors of a theme, different “levels” or activities, different approaches. All of it so finely tuned to what works for you and your partners, it’s pretty cool that there is this assumption that “well, yeah. There’s this thing, but you have to figure out the details for you in what you like.

Take the good ol’ chastity cage, for example. There’s everything from “rivet that sucker in place” to “we use it for play time” and none is better than any other. It’s what works for you.

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Sometimes, A Reset

It strikes me that this whole thing (this thing that we do, TTTWD) takes a LOT of heavy lifting at times. Sometimes it’s working out details. A lot of times it’s working to keep an open mind (we’re going to do WHAT??!) and other times, it’s being mindful that you’re trying to change your own behaviors along the way.

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From comment: “What makes you so special?”

We’ve not received the volume of negative comments that others do, for that, I’m not at all unhappy. But we did receive one the other day that actually had me thinking.

In essence, (paraphrased) “What makes you so special? FLR and D/s and these things all of you write about don’t make you better than (me) and I’m sick of reading about it. People without this aren’t less happy, less sexy, less (fill in the blank)… Stop dictating how people should live!”

In essence, SHUT UP ABOUT IT.

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Bodies are Weird. A Different Story of Betrayal – Body Betrayal.

It seems like I should have great control over my own body. I’ve always worked to have the strength (and will) to work through whatever I can foresee happening. Of course, that’s not a perfect goal, but it IS something I actively reach for. This runs the full range, from O-control to being able to do fancy-schmancy dance moves.

But this isn’t a fancy-schmancy dance moves kinda site, ya know? So you know where I’m headed…

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Snake’s Perspective: Lifestyle D/sFLR

This is a second part to Charmer’s post, here.

I don’t get as many questions about things as Charmer does – but I do get a lot of assumptions. I get assumptions about what it means to be in an FLR with D/s structure and how it all works for us. It’s odd how people will see a video, read a story someplace and assume that that’s both reality and the same for everyone.

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Father’s Day

First, happy Father’s Day to all of you out there getting it done, helping out with families, taking care of the more important things in life – your partners, your families.

Second, just a heads-up, this won’t be about sexy times… just about life and influences and some reflection. I think it’s really fascinating to see the influences and how they play out (including in our own FLR) over time. For pure sexiness, check out Charmer’s Sinful Sunday. 🙂

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Change, and Chasing “More”

D/s and kink and all of this thing we do is a challenging beast. I’ve written before about some of the challenges of changing up your relationships (like FLR and D/s in general) and what it means to at least our dynamic – from learning how things are to be done, to figuring out how to communicate better.

But one of the things that constantly tugs at all of this is this feeling that “well, if that was fun, imagine what it would be like if we did twice as much!”

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15 minutes.

Have you ever wondered if you could maintain something for 15 minutes if the stakes were high enough, that you weren’t used to lasting that long unrelentingly?  How’s that for a question?

Well, I’ve thought about it.  I mean, not unprompted, of course.  The prompting comes from you…

You sit down, cozying up next to me with this grin on your face.  “We’re going to give you a test today!” is how you open the challenge.  “Do you have a favorite metronome speed?

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Sometimes I Talk Too Much

What a glorious day – the beach is beautiful, the sun is perfect.  Not too hot, but that special warmth on the skin that makes you want to just take pause and lean back and enjoy it.  There’s a slight breeze even, coming off the ocean and through the small bushes and trees up and down the beach.  We have this perfect spot, clean sand, some greenery, easy short trip to the cabana bar and just… silence.

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A Love/Hate Relationship With Changing Rooms

I really detest shopping for clothes.

No, really.

But, leave it to her to change things up and make it more… interesting.

Come on.  We’re going shopping for you.”  I grumble and groan, but gather my things and out the door we go to the mall.  I’m thinking it’s strange to go to the mall, we’re more of a “discount store down the street” kind of folks, but hey, I’m not calling the shots here.  I also notice you’re surprisingly dressed up… er, down for the event.  A sassy mini skirt and one of THOSE tops that shows a whole lot of cleavage.  I take it as a bribe and grin a bit.

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Game, Phase II Complete…

And the winner is….

No, seriously?  You’re still reading to find out?  Puhleaze.

We all know the naked truth here.  We know how the game is put together… always.

Some background – the game used trivial pursuit tiles (2 of each color) and a die.  I rolled the die and the number represented the question (1 through 6) on the card that I had to answer.

So in this round, I found out all sorts of things.  Things about Howard Cosell, movies, geography.  It was lovely!   See… I found out these things and learned them because I had no earthly idea about most of them before I started.  I mean, come on.  

SO, if I missed a question, it was a task of her choosing.  Sometimes she’d let me try again, with an unknown cost.  I had to say whether I wanted to try again before I’d know the cost.  What could possibly go wrong?

If I got it right, I could try again.  BUT, if I did elect to move forward, if I missed the question, I also lost any other tile earned that day.

If I got all the tiles in the allotted time, there’s a huge reward for me.  For us.  Definitely worth nearly any risk of tasks or cost of guesses, etc.

I nailed it.  You’ll see more about that in just a bit.  But… BOOYAH!

So I certainly had my fill of tasks.  These included things like massages for her, wearing a plug, a lot of writing posts for the site (stories, this post, etc.).  The thing that I most dreaded were the hidden costs.  Sometimes it was leg massage type things, at one point it was a certain number of O’s for her, etc.

But the hardest one of all – the cost to try for another tile on the very last night – was evil incarnate and something that just flat puts you in your place and realize just how little control I have after all this time.

She set a timer.

5 minutes.

You cannot stop me unless you want to stop the chance to get another question.  You may not cum.  You may not ruin.  IF you make it 5 minutes, you get another question to try to earn a tile.  If you do not, you don’t.  If you break the first part of these rules, you get punishment.

No problem.  I got this.  I can last 5 lousy minutes, right?  I mean, you’re sitting there, right now as you read this thinking “oh, COME ON!  That’s easy!  She let him off so damn easy!”

Well, sure.  When I have some management of stuff.  But she was running the show.  Suffice to say that it’s extremely frustrating how quickly someone can get you to crying uncle when they set out to do just that.

So I was treated to that giggle.  Her being so amused with the idea that I thought I could best it.

So, yeah.  I lost.  I got 4 tiles.  I worked hard for those tiles, but man.  To the person that invented trivia as a thing, they can go straight to, well, yeah.

So there you have it.  Phase II.  In the books.  And now I get to pay the penance on this one.  It’s awesome though.  This post and full body massage for her.  SCORE!

Shall We Play A Game?

As you may (or may not) know, Charmer loves to integrate games into… activities.  She tends (tends?) to create rules around those games that just may favor her a bit.  Maybe.

If you haven’t seen it, you can check out multiple renditions of the @^#@#^@ scrabble-esque games she’s done in the past.  There’s something about making up words (sometimes with rules around the words) in the heat of the moment that just gets to me nearly every time.  Oh, and I *suck* at scrabble.  There’s that too.  So she gleefully rolls out the tiles and shakes the bag.  I know I’m in trouble.   (Here’s a link to different scrabble posts)

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A Whole Month of Challenges….

It’s been a little while since I tossed out a challenge to Snake so it got me thinking.  Which, of course, always makes him more than a little nervous.   [Snake: Um, just a tad] The first inspiration was the 12 Days of Christmas, then he mentioned an Advent calendar so I threw caution to the wind and decided to just use the whole month of December.  [Snake: Of course — 31 days!  Yay!  What could possibly go wrong??] So, here is the challenge premise….

Each day of the month, Snake will be responsible for a task.  I will be posting them on here and Twitter daily so you can follow along and see what fun things I have for him.  Some will be fast and others will be more involved, but all will be lots of fun for me, of course.  And, if you have ideas, put them in the comments.  I might use them, or not, or keep them for another time, but I always love input… [Snake: Might I suggest suggesting things like “take shower” and “put on socks” – those would be great suggestions you all could make!]

Besides the sheer joy of doing things that I want, what does Snake get out of this?  Well…if he accomplishes all of his tasks, he will get two tokens for bonus O’s that can be used any time he is eligible.  For someone who is at 13 for the year, I think that’s a pretty good reward.  [Snake: Nervously wrings hands.  Yes.  Yes it is.]

If he misses any at all though, no bonuses.  And if he misses more than two, he will start upping the required the ratio by 1% for every one that he misses.  Just ask him….he doesn’t want that. [Snake: No, no I don’t.]

So….keep your eyes on here and Twitter for his tasks.  It should be a December to remember.  [Snake: Or at least, ya know, to cheer for?!]

Scrabble Challenge of Olympic Proportions

It’s been three months since the last Scrabble challenge.    It might still be hot but summer is coming to an end and I thought it was time to break out the tiles again.  Because, of course, I like nothing better than to drive him insane….  And we all know how much he LOVES Scrabble.  [Oh yay!  Scrabble! I LOVE Scrabble tiles.  Someone hand me the matches!]

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Making Dinner

When I walk in you ask me to tell you about my day – we start some typical banter, I realize that everything I say is met with “mmmhmmm” and “oh, I see…” in an exaggerated way.   You could not care less what I’m talking about and you are somewhere else as we get things around to start making dinner.

I try to find out what’s up, but you’re having none of it, egging me in to tell you more about my day.  But you stay disjointed, truly uninterested in this comic way.  I finally start to give up and start to move away and you stop.

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