Finding the Way Back


“I am the Bad Wolf. I create myself. I take the words. I scatter them … in time, and space. A message to lead myself here.”


Russell T. Davies

Forgive me if you aren’t a Doctor Who fan because the above quote might seem a bit Little Red Riding Hood. But I found my Bad Wolf shirt this morning and it resonated.

When Snake and I started this blog journey a few years ago, it was bright and shiny and new. Writing was easy. Things flowed. We wrote about everything because it was a constant discovery.

After that initial burst, it’s harder to keep writing the same way. I suppose that it is possible to keep going bigger and MORE all of the time.

Unfortunately, life has a tendency to keep the fantasy 24/7/365 at bay. And it begins to feel boring to write about the same play and the same toys and the same games (Yes, I still love to torment him with Scrabble and Trivial Pursuit).

[Snake:] …and yes, I still typically lose. Over. and. Over again. I mean, seriously. you’d think I’d learn how to form more words or learn more trivia, but I think she has this uncanny way of finding trivia questions that I just have zero clue about… then making them the topic of whatever challenge. It’s just wrong. WRONG!

Then “piriformis syndrome” struck the house. I spent about a year with my wonderful chiropractor and stretching and exercising and recovered. The funny thing is, logically, when something hurts, you stop moving. Sit still and wait for it to heal. Not so much with this–at least with me. The less I did, the more it hurt. Working through the pain made it go away. Kinda blows your mind, huh?

And we started back to doing pictures and stories on the site. Snake and I are in a great place together. EXCEPT…my playful side got put aside while we worked on my recovery. Less play means less to write about. Less to write about means I think about it less often and it is a vicious circle. Writing is a habit that needs nurturing to keep it going.

I’m healed though and I want to find all sorts of new ways to torture and tease Snake. SO…it’s time to create myself again. Find my words that I scattered around and lead myself back to Charmer in all of her glory.

[Snake:] me? I’ll just be hiding. Over here. In the corner. Oh, and whimpering. Likely a lot. Maybe I’ll start memorizing wikipedia or a dictionary. Or both. But then again, she’ll find something else.

Blind Sensations

So, here’s the deal…” she says with that grin.  “With it being Halloween, we’re going to play a game with a mask so you can earn some additional play time…

My head: “whut?”

I should know better.  It’s just not ever simple.  She starts telling me what we’re doing – but I lose track because she’s coming at me with that full bondage hood mask we picked up a while ago.  It’s one of those stretchy, blindfold embedded, ear-muffling, fully head-covering masks.  I’m lost in the whole WTF of the situation.  Finally, I think to ask –

“Say what?!”

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15 minutes.

Have you ever wondered if you could maintain something for 15 minutes if the stakes were high enough, that you weren’t used to lasting that long unrelentingly?  How’s that for a question?

Well, I’ve thought about it.  I mean, not unprompted, of course.  The prompting comes from you…

You sit down, cozying up next to me with this grin on your face.  “We’re going to give you a test today!” is how you open the challenge.  “Do you have a favorite metronome speed?

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But that would be too easy…

It’s been a really long day and as we’re just sitting chatting, you keep talking, but stand up and do this extremely slow, deliberate undressing.  If you were only listening to what’s going on, you’d not even realize something had changed; you keep up the conversation, you keep asking questions, the whole bit.

But if I stop to watch, or make any indication that I “notice” (puhleaze, not something I will miss), you stop and just look at me until it’s back to normal. Then you move forward… button by agonizing button.  Untucking, undressing, even throwing in some gyrating…

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Just a Tug, and a Wrap

It started innocently enough.  We were messing around, joking about this or that, had already had dinner.  It was one of those really casual, easy evenings where everyone’s guard is down, everyone’s just relaxed.

I go to sit down next to you on the couch and don’t think much of it.  After I sit though, I can feel your eyes burning into me.  I look up to see that, sure enough, you’re staring straight at me with this… look.  You know me and looks, so I’m trying to figure out what I’ve done that wasn’t quite right.

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