Snake’s Perspective: Lifestyle D/sFLR

This is a second part to Charmer’s post, here.

I don’t get as many questions about things as Charmer does – but I do get a lot of assumptions. I get assumptions about what it means to be in an FLR with D/s structure and how it all works for us. It’s odd how people will see a video, read a story someplace and assume that that’s both reality and the same for everyone.

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Elabor8: “Tell me more…”

Playtime is a great thing. Playtime can be a torturous time too though. Charmer tends to lean hard on the torture side of things – sometimes physical, sometimes mental. This is a perfect example of one of those times.

She likes to step all over my inability to talk about anything sexual, to answer direct, specific questions about something that’s going on. Of course, once she finds one of those soft spots, she pokes and pokes and pokes at it, just because she can.

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Change, and Chasing “More”

D/s and kink and all of this thing we do is a challenging beast. I’ve written before about some of the challenges of changing up your relationships (like FLR and D/s in general) and what it means to at least our dynamic – from learning how things are to be done, to figuring out how to communicate better.

But one of the things that constantly tugs at all of this is this feeling that “well, if that was fun, imagine what it would be like if we did twice as much!”

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Finding the Way Back


“I am the Bad Wolf. I create myself. I take the words. I scatter them … in time, and space. A message to lead myself here.”


Russell T. Davies

Forgive me if you aren’t a Doctor Who fan because the above quote might seem a bit Little Red Riding Hood. But I found my Bad Wolf shirt this morning and it resonated.

When Snake and I started this blog journey a few years ago, it was bright and shiny and new. Writing was easy. Things flowed. We wrote about everything because it was a constant discovery.

After that initial burst, it’s harder to keep writing the same way. I suppose that it is possible to keep going bigger and MORE all of the time.

Unfortunately, life has a tendency to keep the fantasy 24/7/365 at bay. And it begins to feel boring to write about the same play and the same toys and the same games (Yes, I still love to torment him with Scrabble and Trivial Pursuit).

[Snake:] …and yes, I still typically lose. Over. and. Over again. I mean, seriously. you’d think I’d learn how to form more words or learn more trivia, but I think she has this uncanny way of finding trivia questions that I just have zero clue about… then making them the topic of whatever challenge. It’s just wrong. WRONG!

Then “piriformis syndrome” struck the house. I spent about a year with my wonderful chiropractor and stretching and exercising and recovered. The funny thing is, logically, when something hurts, you stop moving. Sit still and wait for it to heal. Not so much with this–at least with me. The less I did, the more it hurt. Working through the pain made it go away. Kinda blows your mind, huh?

And we started back to doing pictures and stories on the site. Snake and I are in a great place together. EXCEPT…my playful side got put aside while we worked on my recovery. Less play means less to write about. Less to write about means I think about it less often and it is a vicious circle. Writing is a habit that needs nurturing to keep it going.

I’m healed though and I want to find all sorts of new ways to torture and tease Snake. SO…it’s time to create myself again. Find my words that I scattered around and lead myself back to Charmer in all of her glory.

[Snake:] me? I’ll just be hiding. Over here. In the corner. Oh, and whimpering. Likely a lot. Maybe I’ll start memorizing wikipedia or a dictionary. Or both. But then again, she’ll find something else.

Blind Sensations

So, here’s the deal…” she says with that grin.  “With it being Halloween, we’re going to play a game with a mask so you can earn some additional play time…

My head: “whut?”

I should know better.  It’s just not ever simple.  She starts telling me what we’re doing – but I lose track because she’s coming at me with that full bondage hood mask we picked up a while ago.  It’s one of those stretchy, blindfold embedded, ear-muffling, fully head-covering masks.  I’m lost in the whole WTF of the situation.  Finally, I think to ask –

“Say what?!”

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