Posted on

Unexplained Absence

Yes, I know…excluding pictures we have dropped off the blogosphere.  And even our pictures have been absent some weeks.

Why?  Life.  And more precisely me.  Without getting into a lot of details, I pulled a muscle about two years ago that decided to start being a nuisance last October and by April had sidelined me from almost everything.  Apparently when I was nursing the pulled muscle, I changed my stance and messed up my back.  When that happened, I stopped moving which messed up my piriformis and all hell broke loose.

I had to stop just about everything that I love doing and just recover.  No dance.  No weight lifting.  Play was pretty much out of the question.  It sucked.  It beyond sucked.  I stopped feeling like me because I couldn’t do what made me “me.”  Snake has done so much and put up with so much, particularly raging, that he deserves a medal.

BUT…slowly, I am getting back into stuff.  We are dancing again and have a performance next month.  I am getting back to weight lifting and even got to use the “big girl plates” for the first time yesterday.   I can function again which was just the barest glimmer of hope in June.

And we are starting to be able to play again.  Not where we were, but I can now see that we can get there.  And I want to get there, which wasn’t even on my radar when everything hurt.

So, we will be back blogging soon.  And I just wanted to tell my amazing husband thank you for being there and being my support and my cheerleader and my coach.  I love you <3

Posted on

A Whole Month of Challenges….

It’s been a little while since I tossed out a challenge to Snake so it got me thinking.  Which, of course, always makes him more than a little nervous.   [Snake: Um, just a tad] The first inspiration was the 12 Days of Christmas, then he mentioned an Advent calendar so I threw caution to the wind and decided to just use the whole month of December.  [Snake: Of course — 31 days!  Yay!  What could possibly go wrong??] So, here is the challenge premise….

Each day of the month, Snake will be responsible for a task.  I will be posting them on here and Twitter daily so you can follow along and see what fun things I have for him.  Some will be fast and others will be more involved, but all will be lots of fun for me, of course.  And, if you have ideas, put them in the comments.  I might use them, or not, or keep them for another time, but I always love input… [Snake: Might I suggest suggesting things like “take shower” and “put on socks” – those would be great suggestions you all could make!]

Besides the sheer joy of doing things that I want, what does Snake get out of this?  Well…if he accomplishes all of his tasks, he will get two tokens for bonus O’s that can be used any time he is eligible.  For someone who is at 13 for the year, I think that’s a pretty good reward.  [Snake: Nervously wrings hands.  Yes.  Yes it is.]

If he misses any at all though, no bonuses.  And if he misses more than two, he will start upping the required the ratio by 1% for every one that he misses.  Just ask him….he doesn’t want that. [Snake: No, no I don’t.]

So….keep your eyes on here and Twitter for his tasks.  It should be a December to remember.  [Snake: Or at least, ya know, to cheer for?!]

Posted on

Scrabble Challenge of Olympic Proportions

It’s been three months since the last Scrabble challenge.    It might still be hot but summer is coming to an end and I thought it was time to break out the tiles again.  Because, of course, I like nothing better than to drive him insane….  And we all know how much he LOVES Scrabble.  [Oh yay!  Scrabble! I LOVE Scrabble tiles.  Someone hand me the matches!]

Continue reading “Scrabble Challenge of Olympic Proportions”

Posted on

Orgasm Control vs. Orgasm Denial

Snake and I have been having this long winded discussion about whether we are doing control or denial.  This, of course, means that we have to actually figure out what we mean by those two words….

This all started last week when Thumper posted his May metrics.  We, being the nerds that we are, also have spreadsheets and ratios and all of that.  Thumper said that he was at 11 for the year so I had to check our stats.  Snake is at 6.

Continue reading “Orgasm Control vs. Orgasm Denial”

Posted on

Update….Yup—Still Around

I know the Snake Den has been pretty quiet recently.  There have been pics and the rare post and story, but not the usual stuff.  Muggle life has been keeping us way too busy…

Work… blah, blah, blah… family… blah, blah, blah… miscellaneous nonsense… blah, blah, blah…  You get the picture and it’s boring and the same for everyone so, yeah…

Continue reading “Update….Yup—Still Around”

Posted on

Getting What He Wants in an FLR

Handing over control is a powerful idea for a lot of guys – chastity goes hand-in-hand with this – you lock it up and hand over the keys and voila!  She runs your life, makes the decisions, and things are wonderful.  It’s exactly as you imagined it.

Except that’s not how it goes.  The reality is you’re two people.  You have to work out how you’ll work together, how she’ll make decisions and more.  But most of all, she gets to run the show.  On the surface, that’s the point.  At a deeper level, it’s a huge change.

Continue reading “Getting What He Wants in an FLR”

Posted on

Charmer’s Thoughts on the Cage Part 2

About two weeks ago I wrote about my thoughts when we first started using THE CAGE….I don’t know why but for some reason it always seems like it needs a booming voice to say that.

I talked about the history of our use of THE CAGE–see, you are doing it in your head now too, aren’t you?–and opened up a whole new question set.  I said that we didn’t think anything would really change and left it there.  Since then there have been a couple of questions about what changed so I’m going to try to talk about that in some coherent way.  No promises.

Continue reading “Charmer’s Thoughts on the Cage Part 2”

Posted on

Charmer’s Thoughts on the Cage…

Life is interfering with Snake’s blogging… Being a techie nerd, when things fall apart, they tend to take the world with them.  So, he’s busy being brilliant in his real life so I thought that I would write…gasp!

Besides–since he won’t be able to make his deadline on his post, it just gives me lots of delicious opportunities to come up with alternative tasks.  Maybe a story, maybe an extra picture, maybe something completely new. Oh, the ideas running through my head.

Continue reading “Charmer’s Thoughts on the Cage…”

Posted on

At the Request of Charmer….

If you follow Snake on Twitter, you might have noticed some pictures and a story that said “Per Charmer’s requirement…” and wondered why I was being so damn pushy…  I thought I might tell you what the new year holds for Snake (and me).

We are heading into our third year of our relationship reboot. (Sorry, nerd)  Our first year was exploring the D/s side of our relationship.  We did a lot of playing with restraints and toys and Snake started wearing his cage.  I’m sure that he can tell you the exact date that he ordered his first one but I would say it was January or February of 2014.

Continue reading “At the Request of Charmer….”

Posted on

Another Scrabble Challenge

Snake has been asking about another game.  We haven’t played an official one since the beginning of June so I guess it’s about time to drive him insane again…

The Scrabble tiles are back.  You remember how much he adored them the first time, right?  Scrabble is his favorite board game.  Not.  And that just makes it even more fun for me.

The last time that we did a Scrabble game, he was earning points.  We haven’t been doing the points lately so the rules have to change.   So, instead of points, we are playing for days.  To be precise, the number of days before he will be allowed an orgasm.   His beginning date is December 18th so a week from today.  He will be playing to see if he moves the date forward or backward…

Continue reading “Another Scrabble Challenge”

Posted on

2015 – Getting Our Feet Planted

If you ever talk with Charmer, you’ll see that she despises the end of year stuff of doing “a look back” and talking about what’s happened over the course of the year.  The news programs will spout about things that happened, shows will talk about guests they had, etc.  Drives her a bit crazy. [SSC:  Very true.  They ignore everything happening now for minutiae and interviews with the stars who made headlines this year.    I don’t care about the 15 strangest baby names of the stars this year…]

But here I am.  2015 was a big deal for us because we learned a LOT about us.  A lot about how we approach this thing we do.  Specifically, our FLR has taken pretty strong hold at this point.  I love that it’s not in a fantasy way, although I know you’ll be happy to know that it’s rare that she’s not walking around in black leather with a bullwhip while I dust.  (Kidding)  [SSC:  How else would I get the dusting done?]  We’ve found some interesting things that work well for us – I’ve written before about different ways we communicate in different scenarios.

Continue reading “2015 – Getting Our Feet Planted”

Posted on

Two Years…

Snake and I have been talking that we are about at our two year kinkiversary.  No, we don’t have an exact date because like most other things in our life, we just decided to make a change and did it.  We’re the poster children for snap decisions–which, in most cases, turn out to be the right ones.

Continue reading “Two Years…”

Posted on

Crossing the Streams – and Turtling

I have a fairly public persona that we actively protect when it comes to stuff “here” and “there.”  It drives me a little nuts.  When both of your personas are almost entirely online, not getting any kind of bread crumb between the two of them is, if we’re being honest, nearly impossible.

A slipped reference, a missed login… and, if we’re going to get technical, even speech patterns and style suggests enough, over time, to draw lines.

I hate that it’s a problem.  I have to actively change my writing style.  I have to work to use different browsers for different types of work.  I have to hide my phone, then encrypt it, then password it, then put locks on applications that then prompt for logins.  It’s absolutely ridiculous.

This whole thing of anonymity and not crossing the streams is just over-the-top silly.

Continue reading “Crossing the Streams – and Turtling”

Posted on

Who’s Watching the Watchers?

The communication gamification post the other day prompted some nice comments, but one in particular has stuck with me all week.  Trying to figure out how to explain a bit more about our dynamic (Charmer and Mine) and how it all works, without hanging her (or the commenter) out to dry.

Some background first that might help – Charmer and I have been married for a loooooooooong time.  Like nearly 30 years.  Together for even longer.  [SSC:  You mean we didn’t get married before we dated?]   In that time, we’ve developed a pretty solid relationship, we’ve been through some really incredibly great highs and lows that I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy.  OK, perhaps that’s not entirely true, I actually would like to wish some of them on my worst enemy, but that sounds bad, so I’ll just leave it at that.  [SSC:  For the record, I would totally wish them on him.]

Continue reading “Who’s Watching the Watchers?”

Posted on

Sinful Sunday #10 — Being Pampered

When we saw the theme for October was Simple Pleasures, Snake immediately knew that he wanted this picture.  He started doing my pedicures back when I was pregnant with our son.  In other words, an eon ago.  🙂   One day he was watching me getting frustrated because I couldn’t reach my toes.  He offered to take care of it to be nice–and probably avoid another meltdown.

Continue reading “Sinful Sunday #10 — Being Pampered”

Posted on

Can’t, Won’t, Don’t Wanna and Fear of the Unknown

Over at the Male Chastity Journal, Lion wrote about “Can’t and Won’t” – and specifically how enforced chastity has applied to their lives.  I thought it was really interesting to see the distinction between the two… and it got me thinking about how many things I’ve personally seen go from can’t to won’t to can to simply “yes, please.”  It’s a different view on Can’t and Won’t, but it’s just how my brain works. 🙂

While this doesn’t apply only to enforced chastity, when Charmer and I started our journey, we sheepishly stumbled into chastity and I read up all I could.  I tore through Thumper’s blog and I’m Hers and so many others.  I read and studied (sorry, it’s what I do) and tried to learn what was fantasy, what was real.  [SSC:  Yes, believe me, he did.  I think he would have done a report with citations if he thought that I would have read it. ]  I wondered if it was really possible chastity and this new approach to being a couple could really have the impact these blogs talk about.

Continue reading “Can’t, Won’t, Don’t Wanna and Fear of the Unknown”

Posted on

Zombie Plan Update…

This is going to be a non-kinky post–sorry, guys.   It’s a bit of an update and some random thoughts so proceed at your own peril…

Back in May, I mentioned trying to run.  The challenge was an Army Bootcamp one and running was a huge part of it.  I did it, but I hated it.  And everything hurt.  My body just really doesn’t like running.  I can hike for hours.  Snake and I do competitive dance so we take lessons and practice for 4-5 hours per week.  Running and I just are never going to be besties.

Continue reading “Zombie Plan Update…”

Posted on

Sinful Sunday #2 – A Changing Dynamic

1-IMG_6065

So many changes in this new phase of our lives together.  The PA, the cage, our personal life reboot.  As we work to get better at “us” we have found so many excellent people, experiences and just plain fun!

 

Sinful Sunday

 

Posted on

Mouthy Subs and Spankings

Last week was off just enough to be annoying.  None of it huge stuff, but it just added up like life usually does.

We own our own business and our daughter works for us.  That’s a good thing for her and for us most of the time.  However, when she isn’t happy at work, she has a tendency to come to me rather than Snake.  Of course, I work from home and he is in the office.  I try to sort things out without interfering (ha!).  She wants me to talk to “Dad” and he expects her to behave like an adult and, yeah, you get the picture.  So, there was that wonderful employee/family dynamic for a couple of days.

She was also recovering from an ear infection which just added to her unhappiness.  And Snake and I were both feeling a bit of a drop from the previous weekend’s activities.  Add all of it together and things were just stressful and annoying.

Saturday night we went dancing for a little while and then came home to watch relax with wine and TV.  We watched several episodes of Sense8.  Still have no real idea of what is going on, but really like it so far.  And the rainbow-colored dildo from the first episode?  Love it!

Anyway, Snake thought he would try to be pushy about playtime and I told him that he was being mouthy.  He jokingly asked me what I was going to do about it.  Seriously?  I told him that I already owed him 5 swats with the paddle from a couple of weeks back.  (I honestly couldn’t remember what he had done, just that I owed him the 5.  Apparently it was because he didn’t undress when he came home.)   He kept giving me a hard time, and as people following me on Twitter saw, I went off to deal with a mouthy sub.

Continue reading “Mouthy Subs and Spankings”

Posted on

Quick Snake Household Update

We are still alive.  Well, those of you who follow us on Twitter already know that, but for those of you who just read this… I know we haven’t updated for almost two weeks but we are still here.

We’ve been busy with work, dance and family but still have managed to fit in a couple of fun sexy times too.  The one before the long holiday weekend I am leaving for Snake.  He is working on a post which will touch on that so I don’t want to steal his thunder.

The holiday weekend was a downtime from the previous week and our daughter was here.  We went to see movies and went out to dinner with friends.  Daughter and I saw Magic Mike XXL on Sunday.  Good times were had by all… gotta love that eye candy.

The beginning of this week was a lot of dance and Snake dealing with a big work project.  Wednesday, however, I told him that he was leaving work at work that night. We had a dance lesson and then came home for some dinner and wine.  He was trying to give me a hard time — he is a cheeky sort — and I finally told him that *I* was getting laid that night.  He could choose if he wanted to be used or to enjoy it.  I think he was a little surprised at my forwardness.  🙂

Continue reading “Quick Snake Household Update”

Posted on

Happy Kinky Father’s Day

Before he left for work this morning, I gave Snake the Father’s Day gift that he had asked for.  I know I’m a couple of days early but I figured that our daughter wouldn’t want to see what he really wanted.  And it seemed a little strange to wrap it up.  Here’s what he asked for.  After we had started our game, he wanted some variety and a larger one so he asked for the XL for Father’s Day.

Continue reading “Happy Kinky Father’s Day”

Posted on

Scrabble Game Results From the Charmer Side

As everyone who reads our blog knows, I enjoy games and challenges.  It keeps things interesting and Snake and I are ridiculously competitive.  So, last Friday I threw down the gauntlet on another one.  If you missed it, the challenge is here.  Yesterday Snake posted the results and his experiences from the challenge.  I thought you might be interested in hearing my thoughts and some ideas I have for the future.  Here goes…

Continue reading “Scrabble Game Results From the Charmer Side”

Posted on

The Scrabble Challenge

It’s time for a new Snake challenge weekend!  I told him two days ago that I had one planned and he is equal parts excited and terrified.   Of course, I know that as soon as he saw Scrabble in the title, he is groaning.

During my daily scanning of hundreds of posts and pictures a few days ago, I came across this.  I love sexual games, I love orgasms and I love Scrabble.  But, of course, I have to put my own twist on things so I came up with the following game.

Continue reading “The Scrabble Challenge”