Mistakes I’ve Made In Our FLR

The prompt for “Food for Thought” this week is mistakes. Had me thinking about all the things I’ve learned about our FLR that I didn’t expect, about the whole D/s side of our lives that we’re always tuning and tweaking…

When the FLR takes root…

It’s really interesting to see how D/sFLR stuff takes hold with different partnerships.  If you read up about FLR at a fantasy level, it’s all about controlling the /s/ partner, and the /s/ partner being “forced” to do x, y or z if things go wrong.

What Makes FLR Work?

FLR (Female-Led Relationship, or FLM Female-Led Marriage) is essentially a power exchange arrangement.  I have thought a lot (probably too much) about why this is cool, why it pushes buttons for people, what they get out of it, etc. Aside from the power trip of being in charge, why is this associated with sexual control too? …

FLR in Daily Life

It can be tough to sustain any number of these lifestyle changes that we collectively write about in the “kink” world.  I look around and it’s impossible not to see the blog carnage from those who start, then get swept up in life. I think one of the things that we turn to some of these …

C is for Chastity Cages and D/s

Chastity has been a really interesting physical and thought experiment run with me. We’re now into this full-time since 2015 – this grand process of FLR, D/s and the chastity cage. I never really anticipated what it would be like, the impact it might have and the cool learning it’s lead to.

Who Are Snake and Charmer?

Who are we? We are Snake and Charmer.  We are a married couple exploring D/s, chastity, and kink. We like spending time together, drinking wine, travel and nerding out with movies, video games, and DnD. And sex.  And taking and sharing pictures. And exploring our FLR. Steeled Snake Blog We started this blog in March …

Expectation of Service

I am spoiled. Totally admit that. Snake takes care of most of the house chores except cooking and he does that on Saturdays if we are cooking at home. Laundry, cleaning, garbage and lately even grocery shopping.

Myth Busting by Charmer

There are always so many myths surrounding D/s and FLR. So many come from books, TV and movies–they get it wrong so much more often than they get it right.

Rewards and Punishment from the Charmer Side

I admit that when we first started our path through D/s and FLR, rewards and punishment weren’t on the top of my mind. Partly, I think because our relationship had history where Snake tends to do what I like and he rarely fights anything with me unless he feels really strongly about it.

The “Why” of Blogging

I’ve always been a writer. I was the kid who wrote stories on summer break when I wasn’t reading them. I majored in journalism and have done a great deal of technical writing in my job. So, what is the difference when I blog?

Father’s Day

First, happy Father’s Day to all of you out there getting it done, helping out with families, taking care of the more important things in life – your partners, your families. Second, just a heads-up, this won’t be about sexy times… just about life and influences and some reflection. I think it’s really fascinating to …

Change in the Air

I have lived in the desert for most of my adult life, but I have to think that the change in seasons might be as clear other places.