The prompt is for 3 magic wishes for your sex life. It’s funny, I could come up with a few things, but then I did the whole “genie in the lamp” thing and got to thinking about the repercussions. But what the heck, here are my three wishes…
My first wish would be to have some sort of way to keep up with all of the things that you can explore in this realm, while not giving up on the things you find that are a so much fun to have woven into your life, your sex life in particular. It’s too easy to take an easy route to things you already know (and those are a blast, too, so don’t give them up just because something shiny comes along)
I suppose this would be some sort of an ever-expanding capacity – because you can’t physically do it all, but I’d love to not have to choose between new and existing things we love – I selfishly do want it all.
My second wish would be that some of the stigma would go away, and more acceptance would appear, for all of the various things we all love to explore and do. It’s frustrating to have to couch ideas and thoughts and things we learn in ways that protect us from others. We have to be careful what we say, what we do, what we acknowledge, how we talk about it.
I read a post (thanks Charmer!) about, essentially, “is living on the edge part of kink?” – would it change “kink” in general if it were accepted and not considered fringe type activity? I’m not sure. But the thing I do know is that there is a huge disconnect between people doing and people sharing in their experiences. If you look at any other hobby “hey, I took up scrap booking – here are 5,432,213 classes on how to do this and ideas, oh, and here are tools, and you should talk with “X” about this technique or “Y” about their ideas… it’s different.
For some reason, it’s not cool to talk about these physical things we do (or mental games, heck). It’s always only with THAT crowd, and otherwise, people poke fun at things. “HAHAHAHAHA can you believe they have a gag?!? How funny is that?” Um… well, ya see, what size did you want? 🙂
My third wish would be to know the really amazing things that cause the really amazing feelings and responses, from my partner. I mean, I LOVE to learn her buttons, I love to find “oh, well that was different and intense!” for whatever thing it is. I love discovering things. But I like discovering because it’s so cool to know those things and have fun with them. It would be great to know them somehow instinctively and be able to fully exploit them…(insert evil grin here).
So… I don’t ask much. Really.
I think it is fairly common for people to “want it all.” And it’s tough when you can’t, and you have to decide between several wonderful things. It’s that whole “cake and eat it, too” concept I guess. And it comes down to relationships and expectations, I suppose. For example…my Husband DOES want it all. But I’m not up for it all. So….He can either have me….or other things I’m not comfortable with. He chooses me, which means he can’t have it all. It’s a decision, and sometimes it frustrates Him.
I also think it would be great if we were more open as a society about the possibilities of sex. By making things fringe or taboo, we label them and add stigma that just doesn’t need to be there…most of the time.
It seems to me that this is really not that much. At least you are not asking for a star from the sky. And everything that you want to some extent depends on you. How willing you are to show perseverance in the study and research of those things that interest you.