Even under the best of circumstances, I don’t make resolutions or big plans for a new year. Yes, we’ll plan vacations or something like that, but we don’t tend to resolve to do x or y.
Partly, for me at least, this is because I don’t do the big picture view of life. I was the kid who could never really answer what I wanted to be when I grew up because I was always thinking about what I was doing today.
I STILL don’t know what I want to do when I grow up. There are things I want to do, but I don’t have an image of the person who I am trying to become. It changes often. I’m the poster child for this quote:
I can’t go back to yesterdayAlice in Wonderland
Because I was a different person then.
2020 was particularly hard because I couldn’t live as spontaneously as my mind likes to. We had to plan things that had never been planned before. Even small decisions seemed huge because there were ramifications for doing this or that.
So, looking forward to 2021, I am looking forward to being more me. I know it won’t change overnight and things will settle into a post-pandemic new normal.
My goals are to have adventures with Snake. These sometimes are big ones like ziplining in foreign countries, but they are also trying a new restaurant that we’ve never been to. They are dancing in shows and being terrified that we’ll forget the entire routine. They are seeing family members who have been absent last year.
Some of the goals aren’t new–they just were put on hold for a while because the world interfered with us and our desire. Sexy games that I invent that drive Snake crazy because he knows that he’ll never win. Playing with toys that are new or playing with old ones in new ways. A new weekly goal of orgasms for me. Just time together reconnecting and moving forward after the past year.
But where do I want to be at the end? Exactly where I was at the beginning. Together, sharing a kiss and snuggling as the old year ended and the new one began. With my love and my person.