I have no idea if a year ago my turn ons/turn offs would have been the same, but I think this year comes down to one word. Authentic.
My biggest turn off is a fake. It’s the person who acts like they are and then vaporizes when you need them. It’s the person who pretends to be someone they are not in order to gain your attention. It’s the person who puffs you up for their own gains.
I am messy. I am frustrating. I can be way too much quickly followed by too little.
But, I am always me. The good pieces and bad pieces and in between ones are always there. I am never going to be fake, sometimes much to the chagrin of people who are related to me or have to work with me.
I am turned off by the people who choose not to be themselves with me. I can handle the bad along with the good, but I don’t want to spend time figuring out if they are being honest. I don’t want to get to know a person just to find out that it was all a sham. I don’t want someone telling me that I am important and running after the next person who catches their eye. It’s exhausting enough to have any kind of relationship without putting effort into something that has no future.
What turns me on? Realness. If you are having a bad day and don’t want to talk? I totally understand. If you want to rant and have someone listen? I’m there. And I want to get to know the real person behind the internet persona. To giggle and tease and just have fun.
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I think that’s why Snake and I are still together. We’ve always been real with each other. It isn’t always pretty or quiet, but we trust each other enough to be ourselves. His words match the look in his eyes. It isn’t easy, but it is worth the connection that this authenticity creates.
So, yes, while I enjoy looking like the next person, there is no real turn on without knowing that I know the person enough to be real with them and have them reciprocate.