Is it Fate?

I have never had a good relationship with the idea of fate or destiny or whatever your word of choice is.

Now, going back to the whole control freak thing that I mentioned in my post yesterday, maybe it makes sense that I don’t like the idea of an outside force pushing me in a particular direction.

I do not believe in a fate that falls on men however they act; but I do believe in a fate that falls on them unless they act.
–Buddha

For instance, the soul mate/one true love/meant to be idea has never been one that I was particularly a fan of.  Part of that was undoubtedly upbringing because my parents felt like you chose the person and made it work instead of waiting for magic to strike.

Snake is my person.  Always.  But neither one of us see our marriage as something that just happened.  Any relationship takes work.  So maybe *waves hands around* fate brought us together but it was choice that kept us together.

And I think sometimes we create some of our fate.  Choosing one college over another or this job or that one creates a type of fate.  It’s a lot harder to meet someone in Florida if you decide to go to college in Oregon.  Interwebs being a thing, it is possible, but also it might mean that you are looking for the outdoorsy Oregon type.  Or, having spent time in Portland and using their motto, you want a weird place.

Certainly some things are going to happen.  We all die–real upper, there, Charmer.  And not everyone starts off in the same place in life which does predetermine at least pieces of our life.

But, I think that while things and people are put into our path, the path isn’t straight.  It goes off with each choice and also with each rejection.   Life always interferes–2020, ‘nuf said.  Random shit gets thrown in our path and it changes our direction.  Not always in a way that we want, but it’s there.  And honestly?  My brain does not deal well with those trees falling in my path or the river washing it away.  But, at least for me, I still have choices on how I respond.  

So fate?  I like to think that my life isn’t predestined to be a certain way.  Of course, for Snake….

Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.
—Groucho Marx