Someday I hope we don’t have to be as careful about all of this stuff we’re collectively interested in. It’s weird, if you stay in our relatively small comfort zone bubble where we interact with others with the same acceptance, their own interests, etc. – it all becomes ok.
But step outside that bubble and you quickly see how tv, online and even some of your friends talk about some of the things you’re into when their guard is down. You hear a lot of “can you believe…” and slanted discussions “omigawd they have a sex dungeon!” and exclamations about how anyone could do that.
Of course then they go home and play.
I’ve been in situations where it would be great to just come right out and talk with people about whatever kink is top of mind in the moment. Just talk. Not force it on them. Not out of context. I’ve had people make straight up wrong comments about something they see on TV or whatever and I have to pause, long and hard, to figure out if they’re really that ignorant about reality, and also whether I can jump in and help them understand or correct what they thought they saw.
What’s more, if you do jump in, you’re likely to get the ol’ side-eye on “oh yeah? And how do you know this?”
I can honestly say I’ve had exactly 1. *1* conversation in person with someone else (another couple) about anything to do with cages. 1. Online, sure. But in-person, nope.
I’m not saying we should flaunt it. I’ve long held that Thumper’s mandate that it’s not our place to impose our kinks or likes on others. But it would sure be nice to hear what they’ve learned, what they enjoy (heck, I wanna try that!) or be able to talk about the same with us, in the right situation, without feeling like the judgement will be swift and cutting.
Flaunt is a strong word – like strutting around. I can’t really see myself generically strutting around and talking chastity or PA piercings or bondage or impact stuff. But at the same time, if the mystique and critique of all of this would chill out, I think we could all learn a lot more from a lot of different people. Just think of the experiences we could learn from. 🙂