The “Why” of Blogging

I’ve always been a writer. I was the kid who wrote stories on summer break when I wasn’t reading them. I majored in journalism and have done a great deal of technical writing in my job. So, what is the difference when I blog?

I communicate well in writing. Most of the time. When I need to speak, my brain rushes ahead, takes a left and a U-turn and shoots off another direction. Especially if it is something important. I get flustered and then say things the wrong way or stop in the middle of a sentence.

Flannery O'Connor

I can sit and chat with friends or Snake or family and be fine most of the time. But, put me on the spot, ask my opinion about something important that my brain feels will change the entire course of my life with the answer and I short circuit. Believe me, as much of an exhibitionist as I am, you will only see me on a stage dancing or playing a part.

Even when I wasn’t writing or blogging, I wrote. My brain is a constant train of words, writing up scenarios or thinking through feelings or just telling myself stories. There are so many words…

I am not a journaler–is too a word–though. I can’t write just for me. I’ve started several and it doesn’t work. I need an audience even if it is an audience of one. Someone must see the words or I just keep them in my head, bouncing about and dislodging discarded ideas.

Snake and I started a personal blog/journal back in November 2014. It was our safe place to communicate ideas to each other in a non-confrontational way. It’s easier to type something, be able to reread what you wrote, send it and give the other person time to digest and think before responding. At least for us. We do a lot of face-to-face talking but there are times when writing is just clearer and less immediate.

So, what do we write about? We share thoughts on other people’s blogs and discuss how something might or might not fit our dynamic. We share picture ideas for some of the memes that we participate in. We talk about family and upcoming trips and things we’ve done. We talk about toys that we might want to purchase or a different use for one we already own. There are no rules although we do each try to write twice a week to each other. But, it is an important connection between the two of us that no one else ever sees or touches.

Snake and I started this (steeledsnake.com) blog in March 2015 to talk about our experiences in our D/s and FLR life. We were coaxed on by Ferns who gave us the best advice–just write what you want. People will like it or not and will interact or not and will read it or not. You aren’t writing for them, you are writing for yourselves.

So, cute little fledglings that we were, we started. We wrote about things we did and sex. Sex blog, duh. We were terrified to put any personal details in it at all because someone in our 9-5 life might know that we have sex. We talked about his choice to get a PA and then by July we posted our first picture.

I look back to when we did that and we retook that silly picture no less than 50 times. It had to be perfect. It was going on the interwebs. I was convinced that we would get no comments. Or, even worse, negative ones. And, you know what? People wrote and said nice things.

We started realizing then that the things we were writing about, and were such a big deal to us, were a big deal to other people. Not thousands but we were reaching people with similar experiences. Our blog hasn’t always been daily and we’ve had some serious breaks when life left no room for blogging. We discussed giving it up at a couple of points when we weren’t doing anything but pictures. We just never could quite take that step.

And I’m glad we didn’t. Our blog has evolved quite a bit since the beginning. There’s still an element of privacy and we have had a scary encounter with a reader and a few comments that were rude or mean. When I write, I don’t always know where it will end because, like the quote, I don’t always know what I think until I write it all down.

But, in the end, I blog because it allows my words out and gives me the pleasure of letting new people in. And that makes my life a much better place.

The Why of Blogging #F4TFriday #113

10 thoughts on “The “Why” of Blogging

  1. I can relate to so much you say here, I can’t journal either. I have zero desire to write things only I will read. I’ve also discovered my own thoughts more than once as I wrote, and have been sat there thinking to myself ‘huh, so I guess I think that/like that/want to try that’ and it genuinely wasn’t something I was consciously aware of until began writing, usually about something else. Such a great post x

  2. “we were reaching people with similar experiences.” – Yes, that’s one of the nice surprises. Finding complete strangers who ‘get it’ when there’s no one close we can safely talk to.

    Great advice from Ferns, I can’t imagine what the anxiety levels would be like if I ignored that.

  3. the quote you have chosen in the photo is so apt for me too – goodness I write far better than I speak – my brain runs too quickly and I come out with all the wrong words but when I write I have time to process more. So glad you both are blogging. Over the last few months of reading your work regularly I have really enjoyed your style and content x

    • I sort much better in writing than I do verbally. And I’m so happy that you are enjoying it. Thank you!

  4. That’s such a great idea about your personal blogging within your relationship – a great non confrontational way to communicate, as you say.

    I’m glad you’ve continued to blog. I really enjoyed your posts!

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