Exploration is more than “hey, what do you think about THIS!?” – as new buttons are pushed, new things attempted. It’s about a whole mish-mash of experiences, feelings
I think I’ve been surprised by exploration, and what we find out from it, nearly every single time. Like, without exception. The weird thing is that it’s really a double-edged sword. You find things you like, you find things you don’t like, but each time it’s like opening this door and peering inside.
You see so much more that you hadn’t considered before, even when the initial “thing” isn’t something you care about as much.
Seem weird? It’s certainly been the case for us anyway. As we’ve tried things, we’ve found grand classes of things that want to push into more. Impact play? Sure. We can grab a paddle. Oh. That. Yeah, let’s keep after this a bit and see where it goes!
Sounding? WOW! That was intense beyond words. And I’m always caught by how it’s interpreted by the players. To me: Sounding – a rod, me, let’s do this. To her: Give me the rod.
Yeah, to her, it’s a two-person gig. I’d never, ever considered that. So we play with it, find what we like, what feels good, what scares the crap out of me, of her. We play with it more. Size, shape, depth, vibration.
Exploration leads to more exploration. It’s like this self-fulfilling cycle. For me, anyway, once I’ve/we’ve conquered a thing, I start wondering – what if we did “X” with that? What happens? Sure, sometimes those are best left in my head (ok, MANY times) because it just scares the crap out of me. Sometimes we talk about it. I will say that rarely is it actually as I envisioned, she makes sure of that. In all the right ways, having that twist you just know is coming (“Give me the rod”) is just an amazing jaunt down the exploring path.
But there are so many things we want to explore more. More, less restrictive restraints. More, fewer O’s, forced O’s, Games (I know, shocker) and then the specifics of kinks. I’m always amazed as we blog back and forth to each other about ideas how one will bring something up as a “far out” idea, only to find out that the other has been thinking about it too.
Want to do the thing? Talk about it briefly, make sure it’s cool, then, well, give it a try. You may find that you have new offshoots to pay attention to, new things to try, new buttons to stomp on for each of you.
Exploration is an incredible piece of this thing we (all) do.