If you follow Snake on Twitter, you might have noticed some pictures and a story that said “Per Charmer’s requirement…” and wondered why I was being so damn pushy… I thought I might tell you what the new year holds for Snake (and me).
We are heading into our third year of our relationship reboot. (Sorry, nerd) Our first year was exploring the D/s side of our relationship. We did a lot of playing with restraints and toys and Snake started wearing his cage. I’m sure that he can tell you the exact date that he ordered his first one but I would say it was January or February of 2014.
That first year had a lot of stops and starts. Our oldest moved back in with his wife and pets for three months. Our youngest graduated and got her own place. Which really meant that she only slept here two or three nights a week and ate here three to five times a week. And drank our alcohol…we didn’t raise a fool. Saves her a lot of money.
However, throughout all of that, our sex life was better than it had been in decades. We were more connected in our daily life. In addition, we started blogging privately to each other in November 2014 which has been an amazing communication tool. It’s a good place for Snake to analyze. And for me to occasionally share feelings which is worse than going to the dentist for me….
Our second year was implementing the FLR. It was loosely in place before that but it was formally put in place then. We even have a full-out agreement courtesy of Snake. I say that because if it had been left to me, it would never have been written. I’m great at coming up with things on the spur of the moment to do. When it comes to actually putting together a cohesive list of rules and such? Oh, look! Shiny object!
The FLR was definitely more tricky than the D/s. And, at times, a lot less fun. There were tantrums, pan-throwing, negotiations, foot-stomping, crying, screaming, compromising, and so much more… And that was just Snake. (Kidding) It was hard to figure out how to have a public side of the FLR that wasn’t obnoxiously *in your face* but still kept the leadership role. I never want him to feel like his opinions and ideas aren’t important, but the final decisions are mine. We’re mostly there but it’s been a little bit of a bumpy road.
We also started our public blog in March 2015, which has been an alternately wonderful and terrifying experience. Will anyone care enough to read it? Who are we to think that we have anything valuable to share? People liked posts and commented! Celebration! We became part of a community that makes me happy and teaches me something every day. It’s been one of the best choices that we made.
So…year three. What to do now? D/s and kinks–check. FLR–check. Year three is the year of pushing out of comfort zones. We have done a certain amount of that. We’ve done some impact play. We’ve played with sounding and TENS and plugs and…Lions and tigers and bears, oh my! We’ve been doing Sinful Sunday for about six months. Things that have shown us how much more fun it is when we push just a little.
We’ve talked about some ideas and you’ll see those as they happen…I know, tease. A couple of changes have already happened though. Snake is very shy with pictures of himself. He loves taking pictures of me and posting them. (To be fair, I don’t really complain.) Ones of him publicly are few and far between so I decided to fix that. He has to post one picture of himself to Twitter weekly. There was one last night and the previous two Thursdays, I think… I think they are amazing and am proud of him for pushing through on something that is really uncomfortable for him.
Snake is supposed to post once a week to this blog. Last week it didn’t happen so on Friday I changed his *private* story to me on our blog to posting a public story on this blog. Just a tad uncomfortable to write fantasy stuff and put it out there for public consumption. I think that it was an amazing story. The response was overwhelming that people wanted him to do some more. And, since you might have noticed that there wasn’t a blog post on here earlier this week? This is serving as Snake’s notice that he’ll be writing another one to be published today. Stay tuned…
OK, so, pushing comfort zones for Snake–check. All good, right? Fine. There will be some pushing of levels with me as well. Most of them will end up being fodder for blog posts in the future. And, worse, I don’t even know what they are yet. I’m not the sort who plans things ahead. I never know what I’ll want to do until I want to do it. Drives him crazy sometimes….
My other thing isn’t *comfort zone* exactly but that I want to blog more. My problem is that I’m not the type who can just sit down to write. I need a topic to start with or I stare at the screen. Add to that the fact that I really don’t do a lot of analysis. Snake starts with, “I wonder why I or you…” and I usually respond with, “Because we like it?” End of conversation… This is also why I still owe someone a blog post (you know who you are). I’m definitely struggling with the analysis that is in my head but isn’t making it into a rational post. Can’t we just find a book and analyze that? I’m good at that…
So, you know, if you happen to have questions for me or ideas for me to write about, please, please, please leave them in the comments. I need all the help that I can get. 🙂
On with year three — At the requests, or requirements, of Charmer….