Over the Thanksgiving holidays we had family here from out of town so we had a couple of family game nights. Not our usual brand of games. So, thought that we would pull out the cards and have a good old-fashioned game of Strip Poker… Guess who ended up with the winning hand?
Snake and I have been talking that we are about at our two year kinkiversary. No, we don’t have an exact date because like most other things in our life, we just decided to make a change and did it. We’re the poster children for snap decisions–which, in most cases, turn out to be the right ones.
Love a great mix of leather and lace – so much fun. Definitely playing with fire. 🙂
[SSC: Just a warning….I was laughing so hard that I almost fell out of my chair when I was reading this. So fair warning: strap in…]
I don’t know if you’ve seen the movie “Inside Out” from Disney/Pixar – but if not, you may want to check it out. (Here’s a link to the trailer for context, it’s short and important for this post) It’s hysterically funny, and at the same time, shows the conversations that happen in our respective brains as life moves forward.
I had this type of conversation happen to me with Charmer and the only way I could describe it was in terms of the movie – for future reference, the characters in my head that were involved were:
I have a fairly public persona that we actively protect when it comes to stuff “here” and “there.” It drives me a little nuts. When both of your personas are almost entirely online, not getting any kind of bread crumb between the two of them is, if we’re being honest, nearly impossible.
A slipped reference, a missed login… and, if we’re going to get technical, even speech patterns and style suggests enough, over time, to draw lines.
I hate that it’s a problem. I have to actively change my writing style. I have to work to use different browsers for different types of work. I have to hide my phone, then encrypt it, then password it, then put locks on applications that then prompt for logins. It’s absolutely ridiculous.
This whole thing of anonymity and not crossing the streams is just over-the-top silly.
Snake keeps updating his Tumblr with jeans pictures, so I thought it only fair that I try to keep his attention with the same. So, we had some fun trying our hand at pictures in the same genre!
Charmer and I have a fantastic history and have experienced some of the biggest extremes in life – the highs and lows – and when we were taking shots for today’s Sinful Sunday, all I could think of (OK, I’ll be honest, it’s not “all I could think of,” let’s be real), was how all of these threads and ties and life-hooks have brought us to today. And how this was very symbolic of that!
The communication gamification post the other day prompted some nice comments, but one in particular has stuck with me all week. Trying to figure out how to explain a bit more about our dynamic (Charmer and Mine) and how it all works, without hanging her (or the commenter) out to dry.
Some background first that might help – Charmer and I have been married for a loooooooooong time. Like nearly 30 years. Together for even longer. [SSC: You mean we didn’t get married before we dated?] In that time, we’ve developed a pretty solid relationship, we’ve been through some really incredibly great highs and lows that I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy. OK, perhaps that’s not entirely true, I actually would like to wish some of them on my worst enemy, but that sounds bad, so I’ll just leave it at that. [SSC: For the record, I would totally wish them on him.]
I had a bit of a realization today. Might even border on epiphany.
You always hear people *say* that chastity and FLR and these assorted things we all collectively do tend to have a generally positive impact on relationships. As a matter of record, this has been extraordinarily true in our own case – having had a profound impact on our own lives together (for the record, for the better).
But I can’t help wondering why. Why does putting a piece of steel around your privates, locking it down and handing over the key change a relationship, sometimes shaking it to the core? How does that “fix” communication issues and “fix” other issues going on?*
* It doesn’t, of course, automatically fix mortally wounded relationships. It’s been said before, but it can be a catalyst-type of event, but it doesn’t fix a broken relationship. It can represent a change in approach, a turning point. But if there are underlying issues, those aren’t going to go away with a padlock. More on this here.
I think I have a clue about this – an idea of at least one significant thing that gets rolling when you do this stuff. I suspect, depending on the type of play you get interested in, it can have a more or less profound impact, but for the sake of this post, let’s go with enforced chastity, D/s and FLR. Yes, I realize those are huge areas, but bear with me a bit.