Sub-Blocked

All day she’d been teasing me, telling me that that night she’d be exercising her Domme side, something I was really looking forward to and, since it’d been so long since we’d had time to ourselves, I was also a bit anxious about just what that would be.  We’ve recently decided to up the ante quite a lot on our D/s relationship and the FLR side as well.  Something I’ve been working through, not perfectly, but working on it.  It also lays entirely at her feet what happens, when, and at what level.

Of course there’s also the fact that I’m 49 days since the last orgasm – something she insisted on putting in place to reset our D/s relationship.  I’ve done OK with it thus far.  It’s meant being in a subbie mindset more often than not, but it’s not been a bad thing.  Needless to say, I would expect that this would put me in a hair-trigger place, and it does.

She’s also been testing the limits during our play time together.  She’s pushed me to learn control over my orgasms, no matter what.  I’ve largely succeeded – I still have times when I it’s much more difficult to manage.

As the night wore on, she sat down and told me that she’d changed her mind.  She was going to torment me that night, but she’d decided that it’d been far too long since she’d come.  It was time that we changed that.  I was to unlock and she’d be in in a minute.

I’ll admit I was surprised, but excited – jazzed to get time and looking forward to our time together.

It all started with “You may not come tonight.

From the start it was obvious that she was in a teasing mood.  Her favorite place to be is on top – it gives all the control.  She’d start to lower herself, stop, then reverse.  Over and over.  It was making me a bit crazy – I couldn’t do anything about it, but she seemed to be having a lot of fun with this very physical tease.  Then suddenly she sank down on me.

Without missing a beat, she started pushing me to the edge.  I usually have come to have solid control like this, but she was holding her head just inches from me, looking into me almost.  It was nuts.  I was racing to the edge, and she was feeling it too – then she’d stop.  Without warning and any kind of delay, she’d start up again.  I was getting worried because the last thing I wanted to do was stop her – she was clearly getting close.  But I could feel her, clenching, riding me.

I had to stop her a few times (3, she’d remind me later) and after that was fine.  But those three.  Ugh.  So bad.  She was so close.  After I’d pulled back in control, she was ferocious about trying to push me over the edge.

She started in with the things that distract, that drive me crazy, that I lust after.  Bites, marks, things that drive me toward sub-space as I deal with the pain and the overload.  But she kept riding me all the while.

I’ve come to learn to chase sub-space.  It’s such a special thing – and it’s selfish, I get that – but it’s something that creeps up on me as an opportunity to be chased down, embraced and touched and grabbed.

I hadn’t even thought it was a possibility tonight.  She had told me it was to be all about her.  I love those times for the record.  I love those times when she concentrates entirely on her responses and feelings.  Talk about pushing the subbie-buttons, about letting me feel like she’s really, really embracing what makes her tick.

But there it was.  I can tell from the intensity of the attack on my chest and shoulders that she was pushing for it.  I kept getting these waves of the headspace.  It would wash over me like a wave in the ocean, then retreat and pull away.  She was playing with me.  She kept pushing me closer and closer – all the while she was coming while riding me.  When she came, she’d dig nails into my shoulders and back to keep me going.  She’d stop biting, start riding, go back to the bites, hickies, marks.

She took me right up to the point of being able to touch it, embrace it, reach for it, so I did.  Just as I started to tumble over the edge to sub-space, she would start riding me again – the mix of pain and pleasure played havoc with me and I would be pulled back from sub-space in a flash.  It’s like being cock-blocked a bit, but sub-blocked I suppose.

This manic, crazy cycle repeated itself time and time again.  I can’t begin to pretend that it wasn’t amazing.  On so many levels.

But the art of pushing me to, over the edge and into sub-space, then instantaneously back – showed just how much control she has, just how much she’s going to make sure she’s calling the shots.

And it was hot as hell and something I’ll never forget, and always hope for.

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