We’ve been exploring more about sub-space – that place you can get to where the world melts away and all of a sudden the sensations change – often from pain to pleasure, or as we’ve just begun to understand, pleasure to more pleasure.
One of the things we love to do is play with pain – of course it’s all consensual – but we’ve found that we both love exploring it and the things it brings. Charmer really loves biting and marks – you can see a small sampling from a recent time in the picture. Usually a really solid mark with cool teeth marks around it. 🙂 This is one of the sure-fire ways to push me hard and fast to sub-space. While we’ve not gotten much into many impact-play areas yet, I think it’s much like what I understand of those.
I start at a sort of ground level, then build both momentum and resistance to the pain as endorphins kick in and of course as I get more and more into the time together. For me, over the course of several minutes my pain tolerance will go through the roof.
As Charmer continues though, things change for me. It goes to that “resistance” series of posts that went around. Once I get to a point with it, I am able to take that final step and allow things to launch into that amazing thing called sub-space. I liken it a bit to touching the portal – and moving through. It seems strange, but it’s a specific choice to go there.
An interesting thing happened on our recent weekend away. Charmer decided that she would edge me a few times on the Saturday morning. It turned into about 40 edgings, with 24 being really, really close. So close that at the very end, she managed to ruin 3 different orgasms. To say it was intense is an understatement.
But the weird thing is, I was bouncing around between ‘holy crap this is amazing‘ and sub-space from the positive, pleasure-based feelings. NOT from pain. Sure, she had the wheel out for a bit. But the only other thing was clamps. They were pretty brutal. But for me, it was coming from the continual and incessant edging. I’ve never experienced that before.
It was strange to be moving between “states” and seeing the impact it had on me and our time. I think it intensified things – she’d really run me right up to the edge, I’d be fully present (trust me) and then as soon as she stopped, this wave would come over me and I’d be pulled into sub-space until we started climbing the edging ladder again. Granted, it was quick (she doesn’t like to wait between times) and at times, it was even frustrating. I wanted to just dive into the sub-space pool and have a good swim.
In retrospect though, the thing that I learned is that I “can get there from here” when it comes to pain OR pleasure. I really had no idea. It was pretty amazing. Everything in me was running on high-alert – even the ruined at the end showed I was pretty much out of my control.
This goes to the essence of orgasm control (another post, soon) for us. She decides if, when, how and how many. Period. She proves it every time we’re together. For us, sometimes I get to, most of the time I don’t. It’s transformed our personal lives and our time together. The sub-space exploration – and it really is just like exploring for both of us because she loves doing it too – is a really great and surprising piece of it all.