Rising and Falling Submissive Headspace

I’m constantly amazed at how well Charmer has come to know me.  I keep thinking I’m getting a handle on managing how I present myself and she spins right around and reads me like a book.  I don’t think I’m this big mysterious person, but how she sees me and the ways she responds are on point.

Last weekend I lost my head.  There’s really no other way to put it.  A whole bunch of stuff from a whole lot of directions was capped off with surprise situation.  I came unglued a bit (!) and it made for a very bumpy few days while I tried to back pedal and make up for stupid things going on in my head.  The details aren’t important, but then in our writings this week, the question, out of the blue she asked…

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First Spanking Experience – /s/ Point of View

Charmer wrote earlier this week (link to the post) about my being a mouthy (in jest) sub and spanking.

We’ve not gotten much into impact play at all to-date (save for a few passing instances).  So this was a first.  For those of you who already have experienced this, you may be laughing by the end of this post, but I wanted to provide a look at my side of the scene, and the things that both were, and have been, going through my head.

IMG_5963About 3 weeks ago, I’d forgotten a house rule of CFNM.  Essentially, I left off the NM part.  Charmer came over, leaned down in what seemed like out of the blue and looked me square in the eye.  “5 swats.”  I didn’t even connect at first what she was talking about.  “5 swats for not getting undressed like you’re supposed to.”  My mind went into overdrive.  First, she’d never done the whole spanking thing, and here I was with an instant 5 swats.  Second, CRAP!  I forgot to get undressed.  and third, whut?!  Spanked?  I didn’t know, really, what that was like.  After the initial wave of panic, I realized that another pressure was setting in.  My cage was completely straining.  What the hell?

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Mouthy Subs and Spankings

Last week was off just enough to be annoying.  None of it huge stuff, but it just added up like life usually does.

We own our own business and our daughter works for us.  That’s a good thing for her and for us most of the time.  However, when she isn’t happy at work, she has a tendency to come to me rather than Snake.  Of course, I work from home and he is in the office.  I try to sort things out without interfering (ha!).  She wants me to talk to “Dad” and he expects her to behave like an adult and, yeah, you get the picture.  So, there was that wonderful employee/family dynamic for a couple of days.

She was also recovering from an ear infection which just added to her unhappiness.  And Snake and I were both feeling a bit of a drop from the previous weekend’s activities.  Add all of it together and things were just stressful and annoying.

Saturday night we went dancing for a little while and then came home to watch relax with wine and TV.  We watched several episodes of Sense8.  Still have no real idea of what is going on, but really like it so far.  And the rainbow-colored dildo from the first episode?  Love it!

Anyway, Snake thought he would try to be pushy about playtime and I told him that he was being mouthy.  He jokingly asked me what I was going to do about it.  Seriously?  I told him that I already owed him 5 swats with the paddle from a couple of weeks back.  (I honestly couldn’t remember what he had done, just that I owed him the 5.  Apparently it was because he didn’t undress when he came home.)   He kept giving me a hard time, and as people following me on Twitter saw, I went off to deal with a mouthy sub.

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Sex on the Terrace

On a pretty much impromptu decision, we decided we were going to have the weekend night (Friday) free and wanted to have a mini-vacation.  We picked one of our favorite spots here in town and managed to get a reservation at the very last minute for one of the rooms that is a separate, stand-alone mini-house/apartment.  It has all the features of home, a small kitchen, nice digs.  It also has our favorite feature, the terrace.

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Quick Snake Household Update

We are still alive.  Well, those of you who follow us on Twitter already know that, but for those of you who just read this… I know we haven’t updated for almost two weeks but we are still here.

We’ve been busy with work, dance and family but still have managed to fit in a couple of fun sexy times too.  The one before the long holiday weekend I am leaving for Snake.  He is working on a post which will touch on that so I don’t want to steal his thunder.

The holiday weekend was a downtime from the previous week and our daughter was here.  We went to see movies and went out to dinner with friends.  Daughter and I saw Magic Mike XXL on Sunday.  Good times were had by all… gotta love that eye candy.

The beginning of this week was a lot of dance and Snake dealing with a big work project.  Wednesday, however, I told him that he was leaving work at work that night. We had a dance lesson and then came home for some dinner and wine.  He was trying to give me a hard time — he is a cheeky sort — and I finally told him that *I* was getting laid that night.  He could choose if he wanted to be used or to enjoy it.  I think he was a little surprised at my forwardness.  🙂

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