Friday was a mind-fuck of the first degree. Let me rewind a bit…
At bath-time, I drew her bath, did the usual bath bomb, kindle, drink, etc. Nothing unusual really. It was later at night, but it was Friday so…
As she was settling in, my instructions were pretty clear. “Cage on, fully clean.” We haven’t come up with a euphemism yet for for “um, yeah. Butt stuff. Make it so.” Perhaps we’ll start with that.
I did, and when she came out of the bath and I had cleaned up the bathroom, she had out my collar (yay!) and cuffs. Each went on – wrists attached to ankles, face down. It’s a position I call “Head down, ass up.”
Some background – this is still new territory to me. I have all those taboos running around in my head making stupid noises. I think that may have made it a little hotter and little more instant sub-buttons.
Still, being locked in, it quickly turned into a mind-fuck. In a good way, but a mind-fuck. I tried my best to go with it. I tried my best to force myself to get over myself. I succeeded largely. It’s so far out of my comfort zone it’s not even funny. I’m getting better, pulling it into my comfort zone, but it takes great effort.
Until of course she attacks me and I really don’t have a choice because I can’t move my arms or legs at all and it’s just going to “be.” That’s where I was Friday. I gave in to it, which sounds stupid, but it was like being pulled through a tunnel – kind of like Star Wars going to light-speed. The sensations were intense, but each thing she did just pulled me forward further, faster.
She started with bites, with her hands just… everywhere. Poking, prodding, rubbing. She was marking me, marking my ass with her teeth marks, with hickies. I was pinned completely – not only with the cuffs, but also wedged up against the headboard.
The bites and hickies hurt a lot at first; then I noticed that every time, I started to get this rush. This calming rush and sense of calm. It still hurt, but it was more like it was happening to someone else, somewhere else, and all I got was the good part of the feelings. It was almost like being shrunken down like Alice in Wonderland, then pulled forward through the rabbit hole. All in a good way. A great way. I got to the point where she’d bite and I’d almost slip, going further. Each new mark or thrust into me just yanked me forward.
Then, when she started what can only be described as fucking me, it was just overwhelming. The feeling of being taken, being used and the physical sensations were intense and kept washing over me. Each wave was more intense than the last and it built to a point that was so like a hard-core orgasm that I just shook and let it come over me. It’s not like I had a choice. Then I realized she was still going, still pushing harder. This happened 5 or 6 times, I can’t remember, but the sensations each time were waves of hot, sloppy, lust, spasms and shaking muscles. She focused intently on my prostate, then would bound off to other parts.
I was, apparently (she told me later), dripping quite a lot from my cage and she was quite proud of that.
It felt taboo, felt amazing, felt incredibly submissive, felt “used,” felt, frankly, fucked.
When we were talking later, she brought up my reactions, which were many. I asked if anything stood out – she said my prostate. “It was vibrating!“
Congratulations!
That sense of distance and disappearance of pain is what some call “sub space”. Your body produces endorphins and other hormones as part of the fight-or-flight reflex. I love when that happens to me. Some people actually fall into something that looks like sleep. A guy I know would just go out after he was flogged a bit. His mistress would help him get into a comfortable position and put a blanket over him. He woke up about an hour later. I don’t go anywhere near that deep no matter what the stimulation. The only danger is that you are no longer a reliable reporter of whether things have gone too far. When I was a top, I backed off quite a bit if my victim went into sub space.
We are new to this lifestyle. Well especially me, he’s played in it some.
Rover went into “sub space” for the first time ever the other night and it was amazing. He didn’t go as far as looking like sleep. He was still involved it was like he was on one amazing high.
It’s really incredible. I’m not a “sleep” type either, but I think I’ve seen it described as “blissed out.”