The Power of Chastity, Orgasm Control

I was reading Thumper’s post today about “High Anxiety” and it really struck a nerve.  A good nerve.  I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the impact of chastity and giving over control.  Even with my recent issues with Edema, my mindset is still one of her controlling the whole orgasm side of things.  I just wouldn’t have it any other way.  We’ll get the device issues sorted.

He also talks about increasing concerns when Thumper and Belle are apart.  I’m not a fan of anxiety, not at all, but this is an artifact of an intense and excellent relationship.  All IMHO of course, but I wanted to throw my hat in the ring on his post because I feel many very similar things going on in  my head/life/relationship and his post really gave my thoughts “legs. ”

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Update on the Prince Albert Piercing (2 months)

It’s been 2 months now since the Prince Albert (PA) piercing.  Wanted to offer a quick update and information about what we’ve learned.

First, it’s great.  That’s it.  You can stop reading here if you’d like.  But know that I really like it and how it’s healed and such.

Second, as my first piercing (and only piercing), I’ve had to learn all the things that anyone with a piercing already knows.

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Memorial Day Weekend Game – Results

It was quite the game – if you missed it, Charmer decided that I would have to “perform” for her to earn points, and if I didn’t make the goal, I would lose points.

Our points are associated with a game we’ve created that assigns points to different activities.  Those points are used to determine whether I’m eligible for (but doesn’t obligate Charmer to have) playtime.  Since she makes the call anyway, it’s really just my eligibility.  I have to maintain a 1750 point value over the last 14 days (recalculated daily) in order to be eligible.  Points get awarded for challenges (like this specific game) or things like wearing plugs (different points for different sizes), etc.

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Memorial Day Weekend Game

Just a quick post to let you know what Snake will be doing this weekend.  In celebration of National Masturbation Month, he gets to, well, masturbate. Within the rules of the game, of course.

We have an ongoing point game where he earns points with various “implements” and actions in order to get bonus orgasms.  This is a mini game to allow him to add or subtract points from his tally.  His running goal is 2200 points within the last 14 days.

Between tonight and Monday night, he needs to come 12 times.  He has to do it in front of me and he has to keep his eyes open and on me.  If he wants me to do it, he only gets half credit.

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The Legend of Orgasm Control

Back before I’d really started seriously into this lifestyle of FLR and Chastity with Charmer, I had read about people that had figured out how to control their orgasms (from the guy’s perspective).  I thought it was fascinating.

I also thought it was the stuff of fantasy. No way.

We had be going at it for nearly an hour now.  She’d managed to come several times and we were a hot, sweaty mess of lust.  We have a standing rule that I can’t come, unless she says so, and I can’t ask.  So she was using me, making me her toy, and I was there just for her.

Yeah.  Right.

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Of Cats and Bruises

It’s late on Sunday morning and thought I’d write a post about the last couple of days.  Some life stuff, some kink stuff and just an all-around gorky happy post.  Gorky?  It’s a Snake household word.   You know the sound a cat makes when it throws up?  A little like “gork, gork, gork?”  That is our expression when people are being super sweet and romantic and happy and everyone just wants to throw something at them.

I had been teasing Snake all week that our his to hers orgasms ration was way too high on his end.  It was at 20:1 in favor of me.  We’ve been really busy the last couple of weeks and play time has been a little scarce.  Thursday night we had time and he did his best to fix those numbers.  He gave me 17 very nice orgasms and two really epic ones.  We have a rating system.  You know–the whole 1-10 thing.  Rarely there are a few in the 3-4 range.  Mostly they are in the 7-9 range.  However, sometimes there are the amazing 10s.  Sometimes afterward I feel a little like a judge in a sporting event.  Maybe we need to make some paddles.  🙂  He always knows when they are 10s, but asks anyway.  He was a very good Snake on Thursday and managed two of those.  Happy Thursday to me.

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What Makes FLR Work?

FLR (Female-Led Relationship, or FLM Female-Led Marriage) is essentially a power exchange arrangement.  I have thought a lot (probably too much) about why this is cool, why it pushes buttons for people, what they get out of it, etc.

Aside from the power trip of being in charge, why is this associated with sexual control too?  I realize that most FLR sites are going to tell you that FLR isn’t about sexual stuff. It’s about being in charge, being in control, etc.  But the fact is, many guys crave it.  Many relationships thrive with it.  Have you thought about why?

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Realities of Chastity: Dealing with Edema

I’ve been fighting a battle with edema for about 3 weeks now.  Ever since I really fully healed from the PA, it’s been a problem.  I don’t believe it’s a PA issue though, but that was my first thought.

Edema happens when the chastity cage “traps” fluids – with the case of chastity cages specifically, it’s swelling that is in your penis, from what I’ve seen, it’s usually on the underside, towards the head.  It’s not like a really “full” swelling – for me at least and those I’ve been able to read up on (which is surprisingly scarce online), it’s more of a 25-50% full kind of thing, so it’s like loose skin with fluid in it.

But it’s not a good thing – apparently it can lead to complications – I won’t go into it much here, because that’s not the point of this post.  Suffice to say that you should figure it out and deal with it.

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Super secret identity and communities

As Snake and I were lying in bed this morning, he made a comment about his PA still healing a little and I laughed and said he didn’t really have anyone here to talk to about it unfortunately. Then he laughed and said he really couldn’t talk to people he knows about a lot of things in our lives.  And so my brain went on…

Like all of us, we have a normal muggle life.  It takes up most of our days and nights.  We have a business, we have friends, we have kids, we have Snake’s father and stepmother, etc., etc., etc.  Amazingly, excluding the usual jokes and innuendos, we don’t discuss sex with them.

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FLR in Daily Life

It can be tough to sustain any number of these lifestyle changes that we collectively write about in the “kink” world.  I look around and it’s impossible not to see the blog carnage from those who start, then get swept up in life.

I think one of the things that we turn to some of these “activities” for (certainly chastity and FLR) is to reclaim our life a bit.  We can all get so stuck in life that we run out of time.  It seems that one of the first things to be sacrificed is our love life, our partner.  We are in this together, so let’s stay busy on life to get through it… – but this can lead to giving up time and attention that relationships need.

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By the end of the month I might have a new zombie plan…

I hate to run.  I’ve never been one of those people who got a runner’s high.  In fact, I was the 4.0 gpa student in high school that almost blew it with a P.E. grade because of running.

It isn’t that I’m not active.  I wear a pedometer every day and get my 10,000 steps in.  We do swing and country western dancing at least three days a week for two to three hours.  If you think it’s easy, try doing swing for an hour or two solid.  It’s serious cardio.

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It Was Vibrating (and not what you may think)

Friday was a mind-fuck of the first degree.  Let me rewind a bit…

At bath-time, I drew her bath, did the usual bath bomb, kindle, drink, etc.  Nothing unusual really.  It was later at night, but it was Friday so…

As she was settling in, my instructions were pretty clear.  “Cage on, fully clean.”  We haven’t come up with a euphemism yet for for “um, yeah.  Butt stuff.  Make it so.”  Perhaps we’ll start with that.

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Do you ever wonder? Are we alone? (Random Thoughts)

Not in a space alien way (although that finger on E.T. is suspicious), but in a kink-way.

Do you ever find yourself people-watching and wonder “hey, I wonder if they do fun kinky stuff?”

I find myself wondering this a lot more than I probably should.  For us, we’ve had inklings about being a bit more on the fringes all along, but never embraced and really explored “this whole thing.*”  So I look around and see these people who seem vanilla and sigh.  Honestly, there are times when I’d love to stand up on a table and just yell,

“Wake up people!  There is so much to experience and do and so much you can bring into your sensual life!”

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