I think the influence of the cage is strange.
I’ve not had it on for a few days because of travel and circumstance. To say that it’s… different, is putting it mildly. I’m sure it’s psychological. I mean, how can NOT having a stainless steel cage on me make a difference in my mindset, if it’s not that?
I find that, now that I’ve had it on for the last year or so, I do miss it. I’ve read about others experiencing this. It’s not a lack of sub-mindset, but it is different. I know Thumper has talked about it over the years many times. I never really understood how it could be, but it most certainly is. There’s a difference in me, and Charmer sees it too.
But it’s stronger than that. It’s like the O-control has softer corners and edges. It’s still very much there, but it’s a “because I will it” not a “because she’s controlling it actively.” Weird.
I find myself thinking through many aspects of this whole thing – the differences in life, the mental state (heh, always question my mental state), the “why” of it all. Charmer is always amazed that I spend so much time wondering why it all works. She’s much more of a “hey, it works, that’s great!” I’m more of a “yeah, but why? It makes no sense!”
What’s odd is in talking with different people on Twitter and reading other blogs, there is often one of the people in the mix that thinks things through – and in male-sub relationships, it seems to predominantly be the male. It’s strange to think (see, analyzing again) that “it’s a guy thing” – I mean, what would that be about? Just not sure. I think there is much to learn.
But, then again, that’s what makes all of this so amazing!